Everywhere jokes

My father, who flew the plane, couldn't have a funeral, he went everywhere.

My friend’s neighbor’s house is a real pigsty. There are hogs everywhere wearing neck garments.

Girls are like bacteria. The toxic ones are everywhere, and you have to take special care of the good ones.

A DAY IN THE HAZBIN HOTEL

[The lobby of the Hazbin Hotel. Angel is doing his makeup; Husk is passed out at the bar.]

Alastor: (Appears with a blender and a jar of red liquid) Merely ensuring fresh provisions.

Angel: Margaritas?

Vaggie: (Entering, suspicious) What is that?

Alastor: A certain Sir lost his fizz.

(Alastor turns on the unsecured blender. Red goo sprays everywhere, coating Vaggie, Charlie, and the walls.)

Vaggie: (Screaming, covered) You got Sir Pentious all over my wings!

Charlie: That's not a smoothie!

Angel: (Snapping a photo) Looks like someone’s career just got blended!

Where did Joe go after getting lost on the mine field?

Everywhere.

Where did Tanner go during the 9/11 terrorist attack?

Everywhere.

A Japanese person comes to America and sees guns everywhere. One American says, "Welcome to America!"

So, I am an emo dude, so I sit in the back of the class, and I talk to no one.

But one day this dude came up to me and tried to talk to me, so I just ignored him. Then he got really pissed off and said, "I'm gonna kill you." I was like, "You're gonna kill me just because I ignored you? Is your ego that big, wow?" He left. Then the next day he brought his goons with him and said, "Now you're dead." I ignored him again, and he said, "You will pay for this."

So the following day after school I was walking down the street back to my house. Then he and his goons tried to attack me, but then they died, so I kept on walking. I had some rope traps set.

This was the best day of my life.

This is why you never mess with emos. We have ropes everywhere.

Where did Susie go after the bomb exploded?

Everywhere.

So, on one partly cloudy night, there was a boy and his dad gazing up at the sky.

Dad: Aren't the stars just wonderful?

Boy: I'm not sure, from my angle, all I see are clouds.

Dad: Well, come over here and take a look.

Boy: Damn, the clouds always move when I get to the right spot!

Dad: Well then, I guess I will have to make you see them everywhere you look then.

Then the Dad shook and spun the boy around till he said...

NOW I'M SEEING STARS!!!

3 men walk up to Indians, one American, one Muslim, and one African American. The Indians say, "We're all gonna kill you." One of the men asks why. The Indian says, "So we can use your skin to make kyanks." He also says, "Y'all decide how you die." The Muslim says, "I want to drown," so they drown him. The African American says, "Shoot me." And the American grabs a fork and starts poking himself everywhere, I mean everywhere. The Indian said, "What's the point of this?" and the American says, "F**k your kyanks."

School shootings are everywhere. In ice cream shops and even the woods.

With a poke-poke here,

And a poke-poke there,

Here a poke, There a poke, everywhere a poke-poke!

Why did the rapper carry a notebook everywhere?

To jot down his RAP-SODIES.

I can never get away from my dog, he follows me everywhere. I think you two would be really good friends.

jacethehater, you are a hater, and it needs to stop! Waterhsharky is very nice to people, so leave him alone for whatever he/she did or did not do. He did not do nothing. So leave him/her alone. Plus, making threats to people is very bad, and comments can be seen everywhere! So don't get too cocky with everything.

Where did Alice go during the explosion?

Everywhere.

Where did daddy cum in the bed?...

Everywhere!

The other day all those toilet papers came by my house and asked do I have any crack candy. Naw, I don't have no damn crack candy or no crack apples. All I have here in the backyard is a peanut butter crack sandwich. Help yourself, and while you're at it, clean up all the damn doggie dodo that's everywhere. Thank you, Mr. Toilet Papers.

If I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn because they are Beautiful, Majestic, Sparkly, Bright, Gods. They create Joy and Happiness everywhere they go.

Unicorns made my life better when I got to know them more. ^-^ They filled my life with more Happiness. I believe in the Unicorns, and they'll believe in me. I am not a Unicorn, although I am the Princess of the Unicorn Land, but if I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn! :P