Every Time jokes

Every time I make a 9/11 joke, it bombs.

Why can’t anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke?

Because every time she sang the line “fire away,” someone started shooting!

Like, if you hate wearing a mask.

Every time I'm out in public, and I see someone without their mask, I always feel like there is something extra special about them. Then I realize that I can see all their face!

True story by the way.

I named my refrigerator Oicurmt, because every time I look in, I say, "O I C, U R MT."

Every time someone calls you a little different, car? Just say, "No, I'm not."

This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.

Why is it that every time I masturbate, things get out of hand?

Every time my cousin and I, we settle it out with our game, so we play rock paper scissors. 😂🤣🤣

My wife is so fat! She wears high heels, she strikes oil.

When she sits around the house, she really sits *around* the house. Every time she turns around, it's her birthday.

If I had a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d still only have five cents.

Yo mama so fat, every time she measures her carbon footprint the website breaks.

Why don't Pakis play football? Every time they get a corner, they build a shop.

Yo mama so fat...

That when she used a jump rope... Every time she jumped caused a giant cataclysm!

If I had two nickels every time PETA parodied a game, I'd have 14.

You're so fat, every time you go in the elevator, it goes down.

You're so ugly that every time you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."

I went to the store because I had to go to school to run up downstairs because my phone started calling me because I was playing Mario Kart on my kitchen sink's baby grandma, like if you cry every time.

The thing about animals is every time you pick one up, you have to put it down.

Confucius say: Never try win head-butting contest with mongoloid. You lose every time, and you only hurt yourself.

Unless he use Mongolian recurved bow... then you in trouble!

One day I caught my sister talking to my girlfriend, and she said, "You never told me you're lesbian." I said, "No, not at all." My girlfriend asked, "Why did you not tell her?" and I said, "Because every time I bring a girl home, I hear too much noise in her room, and I never get the chance to kiss them because she's cleaning the trash." She said, "Yeah, the trash is her junk."