Evers jokes

Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?

Yeah, neither has he!

I just watched a program about beavers. It was the worst dam program I've ever seen.

Did you ever hear the story about the broken pencil?

That's okay. There is really no point to it.

Why is there no open hunting season on hippies?

Have you ever tried to clean one?

Have you ever seen a baby unicorn? No! Because unicorns are gay rainbows in equine form.

Little Johnny was living with his grandpa during the summer. Well, grandpa had a beer, and Johnny said, "Grandpa, let me get a sip of that." Grandpa said, "Well, lil Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And lil Johnny said, "Well no sir." And grandpa said, then no, you can't.

Later that day, papaw (grandpa) had a cigar, and Johnny said let me get a hit of that, and papaw asked, "Well, Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And Johnny said no again. Then papaw was shooting his gun, and Johnny asked if he could shoot it, and grandpa asked Johnny if his d**k reached his a**, and Johnny said no.

Well, after supper, Johnny's grandma made Johnny some ice cream (the most amazing bowl of ice cream EVER), and grandpa said, "Johnny, let me get a bit of that ice cream," and Johnny asked papaw, "Well, papaw, does your d**k reach your a**?" And papaw said, "Well, Johnny, as a matter of a fact, it does," and Johnny said, "Good, now go f**k yourself because you ain't getting none of my ice cream!"

Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...

Why don't amputees ever get cold? They're always wearing their stump warmers.

What did the blind kid say after receiving a cheese grater for Christmas?

"This is the most violent book I’ve ever read."

If you ever think no one cares about you,

kill someone, then the news will.

JFK and Abe Lincoln were some of the most open-minded presidents ever.

Hillary Clinton could be the first F president ever elected into office.

Sorry, it was supposed to say "Female," but the "emale" got deleted.

The twin towers were the best soldiers ever. Stand together, fall together!

Chuck Norris can kick an apple from an orange tree and make the best lemonade you've ever had.

Bully: Have you ever heard of a brain?

Stupid kid: No.

Bully: You should go get one!

Stupid kid: Wwwwaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

Store owner: You have to be 40 inches tall to go into the adult section.

Kid: Please.

Store owner: Oh okay, but get on your tippy toes.

Kid: Everybody is hugging.

If you're ever frustrated, just punch them in the face. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

I got a PS5 for my nine-year-old sister. At the time, I thought it was the best trade I’d ever made. But now I’m regretting not being able to molest her anymore.

If you're ever bored, just punch an orphan.

What are they gonna tell their parents?

Jesus is the worst, just joking; he is the best! Best best BFF great guy ever that has a miracle. Jesus comes from Bethlehem! 😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😇