Evers jokes

Did you ever hear the story about the broken pencil?

That's okay. There is really no point to it.

If I ever ran for public office, I'd make Rajan a call center employee again.

Have you ever seen a baby unicorn? No! Because unicorns are gay rainbows in equine form.

Little Johnny was living with his grandpa during the summer. Well, grandpa had a beer, and Johnny said, "Grandpa, let me get a sip of that." Grandpa said, "Well, lil Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And lil Johnny said, "Well no sir." And grandpa said, then no, you can't.

Later that day, papaw (grandpa) had a cigar, and Johnny said let me get a hit of that, and papaw asked, "Well, Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And Johnny said no again. Then papaw was shooting his gun, and Johnny asked if he could shoot it, and grandpa asked Johnny if his d**k reached his a**, and Johnny said no.

Well, after supper, Johnny's grandma made Johnny some ice cream (the most amazing bowl of ice cream EVER), and grandpa said, "Johnny, let me get a bit of that ice cream," and Johnny asked papaw, "Well, papaw, does your d**k reach your a**?" And papaw said, "Well, Johnny, as a matter of a fact, it does," and Johnny said, "Good, now go f**k yourself because you ain't getting none of my ice cream!"

If you're ever bored, just punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

Russia vs. Ukraine is the ultimate CS:GO match ever!

If you are ever mad, punch an orphan.

What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

Two emos are dating, and the most romantic thing they have ever done is slit each other's wrists.

Why didn't the orphans stay at the park for days? Because they had no one to pick them up.

What's an orphan's best friend? A boomerang because it's the only thing that ever came back.

I saw your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing.

Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.

If you're ever frustrated, just punch them in the face. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Store owner: You have to be 40 inches tall to go into the adult section.

Kid: Please.

Store owner: Oh okay, but get on your tippy toes.

Kid: Everybody is hugging.

Jesus is the worst, just joking; he is the best! Best best BFF great guy ever that has a miracle. Jesus comes from Bethlehem! 😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😇

If you're ever bored, just punch an orphan.

What are they gonna tell their parents?

Bully: Have you ever heard of a brain?

Stupid kid: No.

Bully: You should go get one!

Stupid kid: Wwwwaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well, apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you.

The Blonde got a Ph.D.?

Yeah, like that would ever happen.

So last week I gave my blind friend a cheese grater. The next two weeks he told me that was the most violent book he has ever read.

Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant all her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats,” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “well done?”

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If you ever get cold, just go to a corner because they're usually 90 degrees.