Entertainment jokes

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?

One's made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with, the other one carries your shopping.

"Waiter, my steak is too skinny."

"It's a strip steak, sir."

"At these prices, it should not only strip, but sing and dance too!"

What's in a Michael Jackson hotdog?

A 50-year-old piece of meat.

A 12-year-old bun.

What is a cow's favorite move? -- The sound of moooosic.

I was playing Mortal Kombat with my friend when he picked the fighter Pristiano Penaldo. I won and the voice didn't say "Finish him," so I couldn't do a fatality.

I was confused, but I understood that the game didn't let me finish him because he is already finished.

I love murder shows... wish me luck cause I'm kinda hoping to be on one one day.

What do you call an emo filming their suicide?

America's Funniest Home Videos.

What is a pedophile's favorite song?

Jerking off in A minor.

What do you call a porn star that always goes back for more?

Craven Morehead.

What do you call an autistic kid who just saw Transformers? Autistimus Prime.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

Why did Cinderella get kicked out of Disneyland?

Because she sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie, bastard, lie!"

I remember the first time I went to one of Luis Fonsi's concerts...

I wanted to commit DEATHpacito so badly.

I once heard my dad shout, "I'm going to be like Frozen and let it go!" Then I heard a gunshot.

The good thing about dead baby jokes is that they never get old.

A bartender says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here!”

A time traveler walks into a bar.

What do kidnappers and Mickey Mouse have in common? They say, "Come inside, it’s fun inside."

What's the best thing about dead baby jokes?

They never get old.

It has been rumored that Disney is developing a movie based on suicide. The title?

Finding Emo.

When someone tells me to kill myself,

Panic! At The Disco: Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time.