What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?
One's made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with, the other one carries your shopping.
What was the favorite game in 2001? Flight simulator.
What is a cow's favorite move? -- The sound of moooosic.
I love murder shows... wish me luck cause I'm kinda hoping to be on one one day.
What do kidnappers and Mickey Mouse have in common? They say, "Come inside, it’s fun inside."
What do you call an emo filming their suicide?
America's Funniest Home Videos.
What is a pedophile's favorite song?
Jerking off in A minor.
The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
A bartender says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here!”
A time traveler walks into a bar.
"Waiter, my steak is too skinny."
"It's a strip steak, sir."
"At these prices, it should not only strip, but sing and dance too!"
What do you call a porn star that always goes back for more?
Craven Morehead.
What's the best thing about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.
I once heard my dad shout, "I'm going to be like Frozen and let it go!" Then I heard a gunshot.
It has been rumored that Disney is developing a movie based on suicide. The title?
Finding Emo.
When someone tells me to kill myself,
Panic! At The Disco: Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time.
What's in a Michael Jackson hotdog?
A 50-year-old piece of meat.
A 12-year-old bun.
I remember the first time I went to one of Luis Fonsi's concerts...
I wanted to commit DEATHpacito so badly.
Why did Cinderella get kicked out of Disneyland?
Because she sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie, bastard, lie!"
A new game the whole family can play...
Incest.
What do you call an autistic kid who just saw Transformers? Autistimus Prime.
