The other day I started watching Game of Thrones.
I told my friend about it. Told him all about the violence, murder, decapitation, gore, sex, gay sex, midget sex, prostitution, rape, paedophilia, incest, and inbreeding... And he was like: "Oh, so you're still on the first episode then?"
What does Michael Jackson and a lion have in common?
They're both predators.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You follow the Fresh prints.
What do you call an emo committing suicide while filming it?
America's Funniest Home Videos.
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?
Because he can’t do stand-up.
What's Saudi Arabia's highest rated sitcom? -- How I bought your mother.
What is an orphan's favorite show?
Batman.
"Did you go to the light show?"
"Yeah, it was lit."
What's the difference between a good TV show and a gay man?
One makes your day and one makes your whole week.
What’s a depressed kid's favorite game? Hangman.
WOW this ultra realistic jenga is awesome!🔥🔥
When you forget the pinata at the birthday party. The kids: "Aww man." But the emo kid just hung himself. Kids: "Yaaaaayyy." Parents: "Adjust, improvise, overcome, that is the way."
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a guitar teacher? One likes to stroke his finger across A minor, and the other one plays guitar.
My girlfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.
This is a joke to tell to someone with you or something. SOMEONE will laugh. Say: "This word isn't gonna be funny until I tell you, your probably not going to laugh." *your friend* "what's the word?" *you* "finger" *friend* *dies of laughter*. *note* it works better if you wiggle your finger or something before and not everyone laughs, so don't feel bad if they don't. Also, don't be surprised if you get put in jail for murder, because you're going to kill someone with this.
What does a roller coaster and Michael Jackson have in common?
Kids ride for free.
Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the movies, she sits next to everyone.
What do magicians and prostitutes have in common?
Answer: disappearing acts.
Michael Jackson is pure cheese.
I mean, Jacko comes on a little cracker.
I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I've ever seen.
