Me: *listening to music under a tree and smiling*
Random person who sees me: Awwww look at him, he looks so so happy ^w^
Me: *actually listening to depressing music that makes me wanna kill and end myself but just smiles to show that everything's gonna be fine even if it won't*
Did you hear about the nurse who couldn’t swim ? She ended up under the doc
A friend warned me that if I voted for Goldwater in 1964 we'd end up bombing North Viet Nam. Well, I voted for him anyway, and sure enough, we ended up bombing North Viet Nam.
Once a boy named penis had a crush on a girl named vagina their teacher found out and explained not to bump into each other ,as innocence they said yes .One day penis found his teacher in the bed naked masturbating ,the teacher wanted hardcore anal sex but vagina found it out and went to see them ,the teacher told vagina that its normal ,penis said ''Gosh that its normal ,i put my dildo in vaginas pussy .Then they three had a hell of a time and they all were pleasured but after six months they both had a child one named dildo and another named pussy. so,narrated it can be told that penis had sex with vagina and her teacher normally but ended up getting a dildo and pussy
What's the difference between princess Dianna and Thomas the tank engine Thomas came out the other end of the tunnel
I always sucked at mazes. I found myself lost over and over again but if life is a labyrinth, I'd always find the escape. The final dead end, my personal favourite...
Why did the cliff feel offended? Because George jumped OFF. ENDED his life. (I'm sorry...No I'm not)
I am a dead baby -end joke-
Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end the faster it goes and every one is trying to shit on ya.
What starts with the letter M, ends with -arriage and is a man's favorite thing? Miscarriage. That joke never gets old, just like the baby.
When you end up pregnant.......
Mom told me if a boy touched my breast I should say DON'T and if he touched me down there I should say STOP..but Dad, he touch me both places at once so I said DON'T STOP DON'T STOP 😂
You wanna know why I love trains?
They end my suffering.
why did the toilet paper cross the road?
to get to the rear end
A drunk walks into a bar and sees a beautiful woman at the other end of the bar and says "Bartender, I want to buy that douche bag a drink". The bartender says "You can't talk like that! This is a respectable establishment, I'm going to throw you out!". The drunk says "Okay, I'm sorry. I'd like to buy the lady a drink". The bartender goes to where the woman is sitting and says "The, ah, gentleman at the end of the bar would like to buy you a drink, what will it be?". She says "Vinegar and water"
Well a boy and a girl are in a bath tube together. The little boy says “Hey you see that I’m gonna go ask daddy what it is?” When the little boy asks his dad he says. “Well son that’s your car you try to park it in a girls parking spot.” As the boy runs back he see’s the little girl is missing. It had turned out that the little girl was asking her mama that her spot was and she said. “Well that’s your parking spot never ever let a boy put it in.” When she got back the little boy tried to put the car in well he did and she ended up breaking his car that day.
My mom got a clown for my birthday but it ended up being my sister🤡
Why'd the chicken cross the road?
That doesn't matter, we need to get the best joker to go back to posting here, he was funny but now people say they are him and ruin his good name, he was the top of the charts for over a year, so screw all these chumps! Bring back THE REAL SPECIAL!!!
also, the chicken dies in the end, ha ha, funny, whatever.
If you spin a fidget spinner You'll end up spinning it too fast when you end up spinning it too fast It will make you fly away when you fly away you'll end up in a tree when you end up in a tree You'll see that your friends are hanging out without you When you see that your friends are hanging out without you You'll run away in the woods because your sad When you ran away in the woods you'll see a bear when you see a bear it will chase you when the bear chases you you'll build a fort to protect yourself when you build a fort to protect yourself You than notice your lonely You'll become friends with the bear When you become friends with a bear, you'll start to act like a bear when you start to act like a bear You will become a bear DO NOT BECOME A BEAR NEVER PLAY WITH A FIDGET SPINNER
Do this on a calculator.
There was this girl who was (13) but she wanted to be (84) but she was (45) but the dr said (0) he said take these tablets (2x) a day but she took them (4x) a day and she ended up boobless
I sometimes want rampage, but what good would that do?
I look for a way out, but there's not even a light shining through.
The times where all is dark, are the times that I need a mark.
Though people say that nobody will care, the truth is: there's always one who's fair.
That person may not be the one you expect, but I am here with a passion to redirect.
Once there was a time where I tried to end it all, because I only looked on the dark side.
Truth was I wanted to be heard, to be respected, to let someone know.
But that was in the past and this isn't about my dark ride, it's time for others to know that only a few words, can extinguish a glow.
