Education jokes
How did Helen Keller dance? Very Bad.
How did Helen Keller draw? With her hand.
What do you call an IT teacher who touches up his students?
A PDF file.
Why don’t Mexicans have sex education and driver's education on the same day?
Because the donkey gets tired.
What do you call a Panera Bread marking a test?
A Panera grade.
My (at the time) boyfriend told our chemistry teacher that blood is corrosive to steel.
Anyways, my sharpener isn’t working because the blade has been too badly damaged from something else...
Why did the blonde have sex with a Mexican?
Her teacher told her that she had to do an essay.
Someone at school asked what makeup I was wearing.
I said, "a smile."
They are now following me around asking if my mental health is okay.
My plan to avoid them is to not go to school.
Going to school is mandatory in this country.
Can you guess my plan?
My science teacher was talking about natural selection.
At one point, she asked me to name the first person to theorize about it. I said, "Eric Harris." It was on his shirt.
If you don't get the joke, look up "Eric Harris natural selection."
In preschool, I confessed my love to my crush, and she rejected me. As heartbroken as I was, I sucked it up and went back to teaching.
What do you call an autistic kid coming to school with a gun?
Special Forces incoming!
Today my biology teacher asked me what's commonly found in a cell......... And apparently "black people" isn't the right answer.
You know that at Walmart they have backpacks next to the guns? Well, I thought that it was nice to see the bags next to the school supplies.
I love teaching students
how to make them harm themselves.
If you combine math and meth, you will become Einstein White.
A kid named Timmy said to his dad that he had sex with his teacher, and his dad was proud of him and gave him a bike.
The kid said, "I can't use it; my butt hurts!"
I saw a monkey outside of school and said, "Look, a monkey!" I got expelled the next day.
I got in trouble at school today because I told the teacher at school with COVID to stay positive.
I joined an emo class today. The first lesson I learned was slice and dice and let it flow.
Are you a school bus? Because I want to fill you with kids.
What is the difference between preschools and my basement?
Little kids come out of preschool.