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Education

Education jokes

I'm running out of degrees? I guess I better throw myself in fire to raise my internal temperature (measured in degrees).

How does a well-educated graduate approach a delicate situation?

I don't know, how does a well-graduated education approach a what?

With a degree!

What's worse than having an honorary degree from Harvard? Being homeless and having an honorary degree from Harvard.

You know what they say: "Location, location, location." So my dad stuck a thermometer up his butt, and now he has degrees.

Did you hear about the volcano that was accepted into Cambridge?

It was a decision on the number of degrees it holds, which is a lot, because volcanoes have lava if they're active. And ours was.

Do you want to know why I hired a protractor to tutor my nephew in IIROC? Because he has degrees. 180 of them. So he's smar[t].

Why did the glacier send the iceberg to college?

Because, in order for ice to exist, it must retain a temperature of less than... ZERO DEGREES at the atomic level!

My friend Joe was a great hunter. He always shot like 3 deer every week.

He was even better at school when he bagged 30 of them.

Over summer, I shot up my school and left a note saying, "I could have done this anytime!"

There were 3 guys in detention called Zip, Willy, and Pee, and they were all being naughty. The teacher came in and said, "Zip down, Willy out, Pee in the corner."

Boy: Can I go to the bathroom?

Teacher: If you sing the ABCs.

Boy: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNORSTUVWXYZ!

Teacher: Where’s the P?

Boy: In my pants! Lol. That’s all mates! Have a good day! (Or night)