Education jokes
What's worse than having an honorary degree from Harvard? Being homeless and having an honorary degree from Harvard.
You know what they say: "Location, location, location." So my dad stuck a thermometer up his butt, and now he has degrees.
Did you hear about the volcano that was accepted into Cambridge?
It was a decision on the number of degrees it holds, which is a lot, because volcanoes have lava if they're active. And ours was.
Do you want to know why I hired a protractor to tutor my nephew in IIROC? Because he has degrees. 180 of them. So he's smar[t].
If I had a loonie for every degree I have, I wouldn't have a loonie.
Why did the glacier send the iceberg to college?
Because, in order for ice to exist, it must retain a temperature of less than... ZERO DEGREES at the atomic level!
Why didn't the right angle go to college? Because he had 90 degrees.
My friend Joe was a great hunter. He always shot like 3 deer every week.
He was even better at school when he bagged 30 of them.
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N. Oh my gosh, I'm peeing on my shoe, no one knows about it yet!
Over summer, I shot up my school and left a note saying, "I could have done this anytime!"
Why do elves go to school?
To learn the elf-abet.
There were 3 guys in detention called Zip, Willy, and Pee, and they were all being naughty. The teacher came in and said, "Zip down, Willy out, Pee in the corner."
Boy: Can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: If you sing the ABCs.
Boy: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNORSTUVWXYZ!
Teacher: Where’s the P?
Boy: In my pants! Lol. That’s all mates! Have a good day! (Or night)
What did the math book say to the other math book?
Wanna hear my problems?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce out of school early!
What do you call a spice with a PHD?
Dr. Pepper
What did the bull say to his son when he was going to school? "Bison!"
What do your teacher and your friend have in common?
They will both die eventually.
Why don't headless people have a head in class?
Because they know that they will be ahead of the class. XD
Me: Hi Jaiden.
Bully/Jaiden Harper: Leave me alone, weirdo.
Me: Wow, says the one who didn't pass 3rd grade.
Bully/Jaiden Harper: *hits*
Me: *calls FBI and puts on gloves and stabs random person then gives knife to Jaiden and takes off gloves* Bye bye.
FBI: FBI OPEN UP!!!!!!!!!