Edge jokes
There's four people on a roof: a Mexican, an Asian, a black guy, and a white guy. The Mexican walks over to the ledge and says, "This is for my people," and jumps off. The Asian also walks over to the ledge and says, "This is for my people," and jumps off. Then, the black guy walks over to the edge and says, "This is for my people," and pushes the white guy off.
A Catholic priest finds a young boy crying at the top of a cliff.
“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
The boy points down. “Mummy and Daddy were in the car and it went over the edge.”
The priest can see the flaming wreck below. He looks around and sees no one else is about and starts to unbutton his belt.
“It’s really not your day, is it?”
Why are dolphins so smart?
Because within three hours they can train a human to stand at the edge of the pool and feed them fish!
What do you call a piece of tech that acts emo?
Cutting-edge Technology.
What's the difference between a knife and my life?
A knife has a point.
I wish my grass was edgy...
then it would cut itself...
The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.
They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge.
A black n***a crashes a neighborhood barbecue, bragging about his 'hood credentials' while hogging all the ribs and collard greens. The host calls him out, 'Yo, pay up or get out. Ain't no freebies here.' He laughs it off, 'Man, I run this block!' But the host's burly brother, who's been grilling the whole time, snarls, 'Wrong, fool. Time to settle the score.' He pins him against the picnic table, wraps a chain leash around his neck from the dog run, edges him with a vibrating basting brush slathered in hot sauce, and then plows his ass deep and hard, grunting, 'Now you're the main course, spicier than the jerk chicken!'
What did one mountain climber say to the other mountain climber?
Man, you are really on edge.
what's the difference between my hand and my blade? my hand isn't sharp.
A brunette, a red-head, and a blonde are being chased by bandits. They are chased to the edge of a cliff and a genie appears.
"I will help you escape," says the genie, "say what you wish to turn into, and you will become that thing."
The brunette jumps off the cliff and says "Hawk." She turns into a hawk and flies away. The red-head says "Falcon." She turns into a falcon and flies away. Now the blonde is alone and the bandits are getting closer. She makes her decision and backs up, then runs toward the cliff. And...she trips and says "Crap."
The End
My sister saved a guy from suicide last week.
She was hiking and the guy was on the ridge of a high, narrow cliff. She talked him down, but I think he was just being edgy.
A woman is on the edge of a bridge, about to commit suicide, when a strange man comes up to her.
"Tell me, why do you wish to end your life?" he asks in a booming but gentle voice.
"My children died last year in a car crash, I'm battling depression, my husband left me, and I lost my job," she sobs. "I don't wish to live anymore."
The man mulls this over, and proclaims, "I will solve all your problems, as I am a wizard and possess unfathomable abilities. However, you must grant me a blowjob first."
The delighted woman readily agrees, takes him below the bridge, and fulfills his request. After they're done, he asks, "How old are you?"
"37," she replies, wiping her mouth.
"You're 37 and you still believe in wizards?"
Me: Why did the bus drop his ice cream?
Sanity to live: I don't know?
Me: He was run over by Timmy!!!
Sanity to live? *dies*
Me: *At edge of bridge* Wow, sweet view.
Sanity to live: *resurrected*
Narrator: Sometimes a bridge is all you need...
(sponsored by jumping bridges)
Flat earthers are completely wrong. If the earth was flat, I would have yeeted myself off the edge years ago!
I bought my blind friend a house on the edge of a cliff.
They died of happiness and a 30 story fall.
An old lady told me to check her balance, so I pushed her off the edge without knowing it was her cash she wanted to check, so I died to help her!
A man is out west driving and on the edge of town comes across a tourist stand and sitting in front is an Indian chief right out of central casting. Dour look, full headdress, a glass jar and a sign that says "Indian chief know all! $5". So the fellow's curiosity gets the better of him and he goes up to the chief, puts $5 in the jar and asks "What did I have for breakfast on this day 10 years ago?" Chief taps his chin for a moment and says "Hmmm eggs. You had eggs!"
"Eggs?" shouts the guy "Everybody has eggs! I've been had!" throws his hands in the air and leaves in a huff.
Ten years on, as fate would have it the fellow has occasion to be driving through the same town and sure enough he comes across the same stand, Indian chief, sign, and jar. So he stops the car and saunters across the road, goes up to the chief like a smart-ass, holds up his hand and says "How". Chief taps his chin for a moment and says "Poached."
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance on the cliff, so I pushed her over because I lost my balance!
Community talk
lemme rewrite my poem here the candle is dim, the batteries are dying , times running out, and soon we'll be flying.
flying over fields or sea, on the night and the day, wont you come fly with me, dont you dare be afraid.
the light through my window, it shines bright enough, it isnt the moon though, its the streetlights - not tough.
the candle gets dimmer, the quote on the wall, our lives, they get thinner, as w… Read more
Prologue + chapter one. Is it all a dream? Charlie knight Thank you to my Editor, Agustas. Is it all a Dream? Charlie Knight Introduction
I remember when I first died. I have no idea how this dream became a reality. Is it a reality?
I was running from something... Something evil, but from what? It was hard to remember. Struggling, I kept running. Soon the hall came to an end. Quickly, I ran into a room, diving… Read more
Am I the only one here who, after not having read it and trying to do what he said, finds themselves caught between the lines of yearly contradicting statements? One dumbass, quick to spout age and place, like it means anything, states with conviction where he stays, though stays what? Jumbled thoughts of those who jump, the ones who barely piece together meaning, and there they are, 14-year-olds or maybe something else, real scary. Like the edge of sense slipping, and who’s there to catch it? Not the one who read it, that’s for sure, because what he said isn’t even said, just echoes bouncing, contradicting every turn with a yearly grin.