Eating jokes
I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. -- I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast.
Give a man a fish, and he eats for a day. Teach a Nigerian to phish, and he'll become a prince.
Why is the lesbian lifestyle so expensive? -- They're always eating out. ... and they buy Rolexes for their neighbors, because they wanna watch.
Why do the French eat snails?
They don't like fast food.
Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?
Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.
What do cannibals eat to freshen their breath?
Men toes.
What do gay horses eat?
Hay.
What kind of bees eat brains?
Zombees.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wipe his ass.