Earth

Earth Jokes

God

God: I feel like I'm forgetting something... oh no, Earth! *sees it on fire* Oh, it's fine.

People of Earth: *running and screaming*

Santen: *to God* Really?

Phone

How on God's green earth does my boyfriend have a phone?

JK WE NEED TO TALK ILL TYPE THE SECRET CODE (YOU'LL KNOW WHAT IT MEANS.) GREEN PUSSY CAT LIKES BANNANS.

Criminal

For someone to be stealing a bag of gold in Heaven, [they are] a criminal on Earth and [in] Heaven.

Scp

SCP-173 has breached containment. This is not a joke. Multiple Keter class SCPs have breached containment. This is an XK class event. Evacuate the Earth and solar system. The world is ending!

Age

I came across a pic of the oldest man on earth on IG. He was 132 years old.

I commented "age is just a number" for him; now I'm banned.

Mom

Your mom's ass is so petite and big, I'd pound that till the Earth shakes.

Dog

What do you get when a dog that is actually a Weeto is caught in an earthquake?

Just like a chocolate milkshake, only crunchy!

Sun

🌍: You're so hot!

🌎: How are you single?

☀️: I burn anyone who gets too close!

Sex

How does the earth rate its sex?

Earthquake, Cataclysm, Volcano explosion, Earth's core explodes.

If the earth's core explodes, then he got tore up!

Disneyland

They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well, apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you.