Earth jokes
How do flat-earthers travel?
On a plane.
There are 4 billion women on earth. Why isn't it clean yet?
The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.
They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge.
I came across a pic of the oldest man on earth on IG. He was 132 years old.
I commented "age is just a number" for him; now I'm banned.
Your forehead is so big, the earth split in half!
Memes
what the earth would look live after a year of the moon slowing down:
Global warming is the average of temperature on Earth.
Yo mama so fat when she walks the earth talks!
LMAO
How on God's green earth does my boyfriend have a phone?
JK WE NEED TO TALK ILL TYPE THE SECRET CODE (YOU'LL KNOW WHAT IT MEANS.) GREEN PUSSY CAT LIKES BANNANS.
For someone to be stealing a bag of gold in Heaven, [they are] a criminal on Earth and [in] Heaven.
73 Earths can fit in Uranus.
God: I feel like I'm forgetting something... oh no, Earth! *sees it on fire* Oh, it's fine.
People of Earth: *running and screaming*
Santen: *to God* Really?
Yo mama so fat, she went to the moon without leaving Earth.
SCP-173 has breached containment. This is not a joke. Multiple Keter class SCPs have breached containment. This is an XK class event. Evacuate the Earth and solar system. The world is ending!
What keeps you breathing when you're on Earth?
I don't know. I suffocated at birth.
π: You're so hot!
π: How are you single?
βοΈ: I burn anyone who gets too close!
What do you get when a dog that is actually a Weeto is caught in an earthquake?
Just like a chocolate milkshake, only crunchy!
Adam and Eve had 3 male children, the only children on Earth. How did they reproduce?
What's the difference between Mars and Africa? Mars has water.
How does the earth rate its sex?
Earthquake, Cataclysm, Volcano explosion, Earth's core explodes.
If the earth's core explodes, then he got tore up!
They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well, apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you.