Earth jokes
Your chest is flatter than pre-Aristotle's concept of Earth.
Yo mama so fat, when she was just there, she made the whole earth go back to the ice age!
POV: Wine Taster in hell.
I was sitting with the best wine ever made on the table in front of me. This silhouette begins to speak, "You have risen to be the most superb Wine Taster on Earth. Then you got run over by a truck hauling freshly made wine to a warehouse. Your crimes are as follows: you left your high school prom date with another man after you got her pregnant, you let your mother believe that the cat ran away after you drowned it in the pool, and you never got married. How do you plead?"
The man looked at the silhouette like it was a purple rabbit.
"Guilty," said the man, "but if you would be so kind would you at least tell me what the wine in front of me tastes and smells like? I will take any punishment you deem fit."
"Very well," said the silhouette, "but you will regret that request."
Out of the shadows comes a boy only looking 19 years old. The boy says, "I will you taster today. I am confident about my sense of taste." The boy takes the first bottle and opens it, pours it into a wine glass, and swirls it around. He then takes a sniff and begins to drink, to the Wine Taster he says, "Mmmm, taste like chicken."
Earth is fun and worstbmaa.
When your mom fell down, a 10 magnitude earthquake shook the Earth.
The Demon when it gets summoned to earth only to find out it was a spelling mistake in Latin class. 😬
Yo hairline so far back, it oversaw the creation of the earth!
Yo mama so fat.
She is the reason why people think that the Earth is flat.
What's the fastest thing on earth?
An Ethiopian with a McDonald's Voucher.
Your mom is so fat that she made the earth flat.
Jo mama so fat that when aliens invaded earth, they said, "Wow, two in one!"
I made Google Earth for orphan kids.
Sadly, it does not show where home is.
What is the difference between Jesus and the devil?
When the devil came to Earth, he was the one with the nail gun.
In a thick Russian accent:
"Let's buy some vodka, pollute the earth with oil, and make insecure nuclear power plants that break all the time! Ah, yes. The mother land. A great place to be. Not like those stupid Ukrainian people who are living happy lives, they are crazy and need to die."
What do you call a cow who's personality is down to Earth?
Ground beef.
Yo mamma so fat, scientists say she's the closest planet to Earth!
I told my girlfriend that the world is flat.
She said, "but the world is round."
I said, babe, you are my world.
What if plants are farming us, giving us oxygen until we die, and turn into natural fertilizer which helps them?
Science teacher: How many times can the earth fit into the sun?
Me: As many times as the earth can fit into you.
A Muslim is about to commit suicide when a Catholic priest stops him.
"What are you doing?!" exclaims the priest.
"There is nothing on this Earth for me," the Muslim says. "I will commit suicide to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!"
The priest shakes his head.
"Foolish Muslim, suicide is not the way!" he says.
"Follow me, I'll take you to the local primary school."