Earring jokes

A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?"

The little boy says, "That’s my little red race car."

Ten minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?"

The little girl says, "That’s my little red race car garage."

So later that night, the little boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She said yes, and then they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won’t fit.

Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs up the stairs, flips on the lights and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?"

The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit, so I cut the back wheels off."

Yesterday I was in a wind storm.

Today my ears hurt. I guess the wind was ear-itating.

What do you call a lanky yellow man with abnormally large ears? Zac! Hahahahahahahahahahah

Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.

Ayo, the pizza here... OH NlGGA! AHHHHH!... Augh, my ears burn!

A father awaits the birth of his first child.

The obstetrician says, "Unfortunately, he has no arms."

The father says, "I'll love it all the same."

But the obstetrician adds, "It is also without legs, trunk, head."

The father says, "I'll love it all the same."

Then the obstetrician confessed to him, "I'm sorry, but only this ear was born."

The father says, "I'll love it all the same."

And the obstetrician says, "Talk to him closer: he's deaf!"

What do you call an animal with 3 eyes, 2 mouths, 6 noses, and 4 ears?

What has 8 legs and 2 ears? A dog.

I said something in your ear, and then it echoed because of the size of your forehead because your brain [is] small.

Little Johnny's neighbor just had a baby. He got invited to dinner with his neighbor. Little Johnny's dad said if he mentioned "ears" he will get a spank.

So Johnny looked in the bassinet. They were talking about the new baby. Johnny's mum said, "What beautiful eyes."

"That is great," said little Johnny, "because he will be stuffed if he needed glasses."

What do you call a bear with no ear?

B.

How much do pirate earrings cost? 🤔

Answer: A buck an ear. 🤣

Why don't humans eat raw meat? Because they use technology to cry about raw meat is good. Go and leave, bro, I'm going to eat sushi.

Me people call me emo.

Older cousin: Why?

Because I always have my hood up and wear black cloths and wear black cross earrings.

What did the skeleton pull out from behind his ear?

Nothing. Skeletons don’t have ears.

Person: My left ear is ringing.

Friend: Then answer it!

What do you call a deer with no ear?

One ear.

A drunk guy is showing friends his new apartment.

The last stop is the bedroom, where a big brass gong sits next to the bed.

"What's that gong for?" the friend asks him.

"It's not a gong," the drunk replies. "It's a talking clock."

"How does it work?"

The guy picks up a hammer, gives the gong an ear-shattering pound, and steps back.

Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screams, "For God's sake, you asshole, it's 3:30 in the god damn morning!"

I have 3 eyes, 2 ears, and 6 mouths, what am I?

UGLY!

It's this girl named Deaf, what a weird name, but I know that 'cause I was ear hustling.

But anyway, everytime I call her, she doesn't answer. I wanna clap some cheeks tonight, how could she hate me when she don't know me?