Dying jokes
What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?
They melted him down and turned him into Lego, so kids could play with him for once.
How did Jesus kill himself?
He fell from his bike.
How many times did he die?
Once on a bike and once when he fell from a cloud in Heaven.
Time for a random Terraria joke.
Q: Why did the guide die at his house?
A: The player dropped his doll in the lava.
(WALL OF FLESH HAS AWOKEN) :| Oh crap!
I was making a bet with my grandfather about who would die first. I said that I would die first.
He said "Bet" and died after he drank his coffee.
He was my least favorite grandparent.
Stephen Hawking died.
Can I die?
Stop making jokes about cancer... I might sound like a Karen, but it’s not fair... My mum died of cancer last month, and still I cry nearly every night 🙏🏻
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To die on the other side.
An autistic kid hit me, so I kicked him back and he died.
One day my ex-best friend lied about his computer dying when he left the call and watched YouTube.
Can some hot depressed suicidal guy give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die?
I'll never forget my aunt's last words before she died: "Can you stop shaking the ladder, please?"
Why did Hitler die? He got hit by 'ler'.
What's the difference between my wife and a battery? I can't use a battery when it dies.
When a military person dies, we shoot all night. When a drunkard dies, we drink all night. When a Christian dies, we pray all night. What if a prostitute dies? What should we do? Please tell me.
My sister said to kill myself, so now I’m in the hospital hoping to die.
Why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted to get run over and poop, and he died for 30 years until he was sent to Joe for getting run over, and he got killed by something, and then he died, and then he got it by you poop.
If Trump pooped in a toilet, the toilet would die.
When a person went to a restaurant, they died once they were in. Three people were a suspect. Two were suspected because she served the food. Turns out, it was the food!
If your wife dies of childbirth, can you press charges on the baby?