Dying jokes

I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"

Before my grandad died, he whispered to me, "Is your uncle still in the basement?" I said he has died. Oh, my grandad said, "I will lock him in heaven's basement."

My brother got his legs chopped off, but someone FBI opened my basement door, but it wasn't my brother because he died of starvation in the basement.

Yesterday I had a party.

I got questioned about five dead kids locked up in a box.

I did that when I was 13. Damn, I forgot about them!

Ama is a bitch. I want him to die and kill himself.

I don’t like making jokes about 9/11. My grandad died in it, he was the greatest pilot I ever knew.

What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?

They melted him down and turned him into Lego, so kids could play with him for once.

How did Jesus kill himself?

He fell from his bike.

How many times did he die?

Once on a bike and once when he fell from a cloud in Heaven.

Time for a random Terraria joke.

Q: Why did the guide die at his house?

A: The player dropped his doll in the lava.

(WALL OF FLESH HAS AWOKEN) :| Oh crap!

I was making a bet with my grandfather about who would die first. I said that I would die first.

He said "Bet" and died after he drank his coffee.

He was my least favorite grandparent.

Stephen Hawking died.

Can I die?

Stop making jokes about cancer... I might sound like a Karen, but it’s not fair... My mum died of cancer last month, and still I cry nearly every night 🙏🏻

Why did the orphan cross the road?

To die on the other side.

An autistic kid hit me, so I kicked him back and he died.

One day my ex-best friend lied about his computer dying when he left the call and watched YouTube.

Can some hot depressed suicidal guy give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die?

I'll never forget my aunt's last words before she died: "Can you stop shaking the ladder, please?"

Why did Hitler die? He got hit by 'ler'.

What's the difference between my wife and a battery? I can't use a battery when it dies.