Dude jokes
I was beefing with a dude in a wheelchair, so I took his wheelchair and threw it across the street and told him, "Walk it off, you will be fine."
A woman was sitting alone at a bar, and a man approached her. He asked her why she looked so sad. She responded that her boyfriend had just broken up with her because she was too kinky.
The man expressed his amazement when he admitted that his girlfriend had dumped him because of his fetishes. After a few drinks, they decided to go back to her place.
When they arrived, she told him to make himself comfortable while she freshened up. The man complied. After a long time, she burst open her bedroom door and said, "I hope you're ready!"
She stood in the doorway wearing a latex body suit and a gas mask. She had a whip in one hand, a flogger in the other hand, and a 12-inch strap-on dangling between her thighs.
The dude looked at her and said, "Thanks, but I'm good for the night!"
She said, "I thought you said that you were kinky."
The dude replied, "While you were in there, I f-cked your cat, pissed in your plants, and came on your curtains. It's been fun!"
Dude, 9/11 jokes always bomb.
What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!
She’s got 20 dudes in her DMs telling her she is pretty. Stand out, call her ugly.
Your forehead is big. God said dude that's bigger than me and I'm infinitely big!
Dude, Mississippi got a better K/D ratio than you.
"Dude come here and see a rabbit!"
"Ok!"
"Are you ok, man?"
"Yeah, I’m fine."
"Dude, pull your pants back up!"
A white dude walks up to a Muslim and says, "So you're an Indian?" and the Muslim says, "No brotha, I'm not 7-Eleven, I'm 9/11."
One day an orphan went to jail, and a big dude went behind him and said, "I want you." The orphan said, "Finally!"
Why do girls scratch their eyes in the morning?
Because they don't have another pair of balls.
Why’s BBC called BBC?
The dude’s shlong gets bigger every time he says n-
Hispanic and Latino people be like, "No more immigrants!" Like, dude, aren't you an immigrant?
How did the dude with epilepsy win the break dancing competition?
He saw flashing lights.
Kid: Dad, what's a dark joke?
Dad: Well, you see that guy over there? Tell him to wave.
Kid: But Dad, I'm blind.
Dad: Exactly, also the dude had no arm.
Dam, sometimes when I look at my friend's head, I say, "Dam, that's a dam big head, Nick." Then he is like, "Dude, that's a literal dam."
Dude: Hey dude guess who I am?
Viewers: Dora.
Trump: No, I am President Trump.
Viewers: Why are you wearing Dora’s clothes and backpack?
Trump: Today we are going to build a wall.
Viewers: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Bee Jokes:
"Hello."
"Oh, hello, Buzzy!"
"Why are ya calling me Buzzy this whole time?"
"Because you BEE BUZZing!" (Laughs)
"It's not funny! Jokes are the worst, although I hate those Bee Jokes!"
"Chillax bro. Don't BEE a hater of jokes, dude!" (Laughs)
"Aagh! You always had a choice, but I will sting ya face!"
"No! You BEE like pollen to make HONEY-moon." (Laughs)
"Stoooop!! I'm outta here, your worst fan."
"Fan?"
"Yes, your worst fan!"
"No! Fan!"
"What?! Aaaaaauuuuggghhhh!!!"
"Ohhh! Buzzy's looking BEE-wind!" (Laughs)
So I found out a rainbow is basically where a guy ejaculates in a female's mouth and she swallows her period juice and they both kiss each other, swishing it together in each other's mouth, and it forms a rainbow.
And a strawberry shortcake is basically where a dude ejaculates on a female's face and then punches her in the nose, causing her to bleed. That's why it's called a strawberry shortcake.
Some boy says 100000 digits of pi, and this other dude can't even remember the 1st one.