A white dude walks up to a muslim and says "so you're an indian?" and the muslim says "no brotha, i'm not 7 eleven i'm 9/11"
one day an orphan went to jail and a big dude went behind him and said I want you and the orphan said finally
Why do girls scratch their eyes in the morning?
Because they dont have another pair of Balls
Why’s bbc called bbc?
The dude’s shlong gets bigger everytime he says n-
Hispanic and Latino people be like no more immigrants like dude aren't you an immigrant?
How did the dude with epilepsy win the break dancing competition?
He saw flashing lights.
Kid: Dad whats a dark joke? Dad: well you see that guy over there? tell him to wave. Kid: but dad im blind. Dad: exactly, also the dude had no arm
Dam, sometimes when I look at my friends head I say dam, that's a dam big head Nick, then he is like, dude, that's a literal dam.
Dude- Hey dude guess who I am Viewers- Dora Trump- No I am President Trump Viewers- Why are you wearing Dora’s clothes and backpack Trump- today we are going to build a wall Viewers- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Bee Jokes: "Hello"
"Oh hello buzzy!"
"Why are ya calling me Buzzy this whole time?"
"Because you BEE BUZZing! (Laughs)"
"It's not funny! Jokes are the worst, although I hate those Bee Jokes!"
"Chillax bro. Don't BEE a hater of jokes dude! (Laughs)"
"Aagh! You always had a choice, but I will sting ya face!"
"No! You BEE like pollen to make HONEY-moon. (Laughs)
"Stoooop!! I'm outta here, your worst fan."
"Fan?"
"Yes, your worst fan!"
"No! Fan!"
"What?! Aaaaaauuuuggghhhh!!!"
"Ohhh! Buzzy's looking BEE-wind! (Laughs)"
So I found out a rainbow is basically where a guy ejaculate In a females mouth and he swallows her period juice and they both kiss each other swishing it together in each other's mouth and it forms a rainbow and a strawberry shortcake is basically where a dude ejaculates on females face and then punching her in the nose Causing her to bleed that's why it's called a strawberry shortcake
Some boy says 100000 digits of pi and dis other dude cant even remember da 1st one
Sketchy dude: If you push this button you get 100 million dollars but 100 million people would die.
Me: If I push it more than once do I get more money?
Sketchy dude: Yes, but more people die.
Me: *rapidly pushes button* This is how you solve world hunger.
Sketchy dude: ... wtf, you're insane.
Me: ...
The boyfriend says to the explosive dude: you’re the bomb! The explosive dude says: wow that was Whitty
Why do your orphans don’t drink beer. Because last time they did he went to suck some dudes toes then he try to take him to his parents but I guess that never happened
I was all liek sune dude little Johnny is Big boobs
Me: *Calls friend* "Dude I just fell off a 50 foot ladder!" Friend: "Bro, you ok?!" Me: "Yeah, lucky I only fell off the first step!"
dude ur last name sounds like a sea food shop, Jordan C
A Chinese moves to the USA after 50 years of living in Shanghai.
He bought a home on a small piece of land.
The friendly American neighbor decides to go across and welcome the new guy.
He goes next door but on his way up the drive-way he sees the Chinese man running around his front yard, chasing about 10 hens.
Not wanting to interrupt these 'Chinese customs', he decides to put the welcome on hold for the day.
Next day he decides to try again, but just as he is about to knock on the front door, he looks through the window and sees him urinate into a glass and then drink it.
Not wanting to interrupt another 'Chinese custom', he decides to put the welcome on hold for yet another day.
A day later he decides to give it one last go, but on his way next door, he sees the neighbour leading a bull down the drive way and then put his left ear next to the bull's butt.
The American dude can't handle this, so he goes up to the Chinese man and says, "Jeez man, what the hell is it with your Chinese customs? I come over to welcome you to the neighborhood and see you running around the yard after hens. The next day you are pissing in a glass and drinking it and then today you have your head so close to that bull's butt, it could just about shit on you."
The Chinese man is very taken back and says, "Sorry sir, you no understand, these no Chinese customs I am doing, these are American Customs."
'What do you mean' says the neighbor, "Those aren't American customs."
"Yes they are, man at travel agent tell me" replied the Chinese man. "He say to become true American, I must learn to chase chicks get piss drunk and listen to bull-shit!"
So two dudes were at a bar and out of nowhere they hear "Oi mate talk to me like that again I'm gonna shove this stick so far up your ass you'll look like a Popsicle.
