There was a boy in the gym who was in his late teens. He was sitting at the dumbells tables but he wasn't lifting. He instead, sat up and was ripping something up. The manager then walked over to him, and asked "You're hogging the dumbells, dude! What are you even doing?" The boy hesitated, then said "Getting ripped, wanna join me?" as he held up stacks of blank paper. The man silently sat on the table with him and grabbed some papers. "Why not?" he finally said.
Man: oi dude why did you shoot the orphans!? Other man: because Man: because why!? Other man: because who are they gonna tell their parents?
Some dude called me a tool
So later I got hammered and nailed his gf.
Guess he was right :/
credit to funnydude from laugh factory website lol
Two balled dudes were pulling each other's hair
Rubbing everywhere but not the clit and asking "Do you like that?" (dude wtf)
Q:what’s the hardest thing about fucking a dude with a dildo A:making sure he doesn’t wake up
I was walking down the street when I saw this dude just viben, he was telling ever guy that walked by if his dick was bigger then theirs they have to give him 50 bucks long story short I walked away with 100 bucks that day
Dude- ABC what comes next
Kid-a big fat noob
I drew a fist on a body and then i drew a guy saying to him "that dude's a knucle-head!"
My friend said "Dude, if you don't put your desk in line with the column, your gay." so he did it and i said "Well i guess now he's straight" ;D
Chuck Norris trained dude perfect how to do it
FRIEND no so much " Hey wan to come to my house ?" sended lonly ORPHAN/ trump " want to come to my orphaige? sended
FRIEND not so much " dude im blocking you!" sended
Lonly orphan " :( sended
my ex's love for me :( i still love the dude sadly but i wont take him back
Ex-Boy-Friend: You have no ass so we're through! Me: Stop being a dick head dude!! It ain't gonna make your little sausage any bigger!
Sans:Zzzzzzzz Papyrus:SANS WAKE UP!! Sans:What is it dude? Papyrus:A human has fallen from the surface world! Sans:And you gotta BONE to pick with 'em??
Me: Cobain! Friend: No, dude, its Kobe. Me: why? Cobain didn't miss his last shot.
Papyrus:nyhe heh heh! I got a swim suit! And it even says cool dude! Sans:I guess now it says pool dude ;) Papyrus:SSSSSAAAAANNNNSSSS
Best friend: dude your sister is hot i’d Hit that
Me: already did SWEEETT HOMMEE ALABAMA
Three guys are stranded with cannibals on an island. The cannibals said, "Each one of you come back with 10 pieces of fruit and shove them up your butt showing no emotion." The first guy came back with 10 apples, and by the second one, he started to grunt, so he was killed and eaten.
The second one came back with cherries, and when he went to put the 10th one in, he started to laugh, so he was killed and eaten. The two guys met in heaven, and the first guy said, "Dude, you were so close. What happened?" The second one said, "I would have made it, but I saw the third guy come back with 10 pineapples!!" 😝😝🤣🤣
Yo mama so fat she fell in love with a skinny dude and tried to hug him but crushed him.
