DId you get your phone from the desert? No wonder why your texts are always so dry.
Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable
My girlfriend told me her lips were dry and she had the audacity to get mad at me for telling her to walk
BlessedBrian's autobiography would be titled "The Adventure of Watching Paint Dry."
Watching paint dry sounds like a THRILL compared to spending time with SLADE
Little Johnny comes down for breakfast because he lives on a farm and his mother asks if he has done his chores or not. Not yet says little Johnny so he goes to feed the chickens, cows, and pigs. He ends up kicking the chickens, cows, and pigs and goes inside and asks why he got a dry bowl of cereal. His mother responds with, I saw you kick the chickens so no eggs for a week. I also saw you kick the pigs, so no bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cows, so no milk for a week either. Little Johnny's father comes downstairs and kicks the cats. Little Johnny looks at his mother and says you want to tell him or should I?
BREAKING NEWS
All the desert regions in the world are now considered lush rainforests. They house many different species of life and have significantly helped with the constant carbon dioxide emissions.
The reason why is because... Your texts are so dry.
As a older brother I always gave my little sister advice. I always said to your best and never quit. So one day I went to her room I see my sister giving married me blow jobs. I ask what are you doing the married men said she is giving us blow jobs because our wives don't do it. My sister said you tole me to do your best and my best is to suck them dry. As a brother I couldn't be more prouder.
Yo mama so disgusting, she hangs toilet paper to dry after she wiped with them.
What happens when you have dry elbows at work? You don't have any elbow grease to put into it.
"How does dry skin affect you at work?" "You don’t have any elbow grease to put into it."
A local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around, that they offered a standing bet of one thousand dollars that their bartender can squeeze a lemon dry until all the juice ran into a glass, and anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried but failed. Over time Weight Lifters, Lumberjacks, men in the Army, and Etc. But still, nobody could do it. One day, a scrawny little man came in wearing thick glasses and a cheap suit and said in a tiny squeaky voice, "I'd like to try the bet". After the laughter had died down the bartender said "okay" and he grabbed a lemon and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the Rhine to the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to Total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the one thousand dollars and asked the little man, "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack a weight lifter or what?". The man simply replied, "I work for the IRS".
What should you do to prevent dry skin? Use a towel.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair that lives in africa? Dry Vegeatable
My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.
Why did the terrorist not get paid but they loved there job
They di2s drying plans
My dad went out for milk. It's been 15 years and I still have to eat my cereal dry.
an emo kid sees his clothes hanging to dry and he says to his clothes"i wish i were you"
What do Lizards and Queen Elizabeth have in common? They both live long with dry skin.
What's blue and bad for your teeth?
A green brick that's painted blue after the original paint dries (it takes a little while to dry) but after it dries you can paint it and then it will be green. If the brick is green it is called a green brick as it is green (not blue anymore) and it hurts your teeth because brick is a hard material that can damage the bones in your mouth (also known as your teeth)
