Dry Jokes

I used to have a skeleton of jokes, now my supply is bone dry. Guess I wasn’t that femurous.

What goes in dry and comes out wet?

A dick

What happens when you have dry elbows at work? You don't have any elbow grease to put into it.

What do Lizards and Queen Elizabeth have in common? They both live long with dry skin.

My girlfriend told me her lips were dry and she had the audacity to get mad at me for telling her to walk

Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable

an emo kid sees his clothes hanging to dry and he says to his clothes"i wish i were you"

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

What's blue and bad for your teeth?

A green brick that's painted blue after the original paint dries (it takes a little while to dry) but after it dries you can paint it and then it will be green. If the brick is green it is called a green brick as it is green (not blue anymore) and it hurts your teeth because brick is a hard material that can damage the bones in your mouth (also known as your teeth)

What do you call the bear that pushes all the other bears into the pool?

The dry bear.

Bro my friend told me all his humour is dead and dry and i was like just like 911 victims.

What do you call a person in a wheelchair that lives in africa? Dry Vegeatable

Shorts go up,Pants go down Body to Body, Skin to Skin When its sniff, Stick it in It goes in dry and comes out wet And the longer its in the stronger it gets it comes out dripping and starts to sag

Its not what you think it is its a LIPTON TEA BAG

Get your mind together

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

A local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around, that they offered a standing bet of one thousand dollars that their bartender can squeeze a lemon dry until all the juice ran into a glass, and anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried but failed. Over time Weight Lifters, Lumberjacks, men in the Army, and Etc. But still, nobody could do it. One day, a scrawny little man came in wearing thick glasses and a cheap suit and said in a tiny squeaky voice, "I'd like to try the bet". After the laughter had died down the bartender said "okay" and he grabbed a lemon and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the Rhine to the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to Total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the one thousand dollars and asked the little man, "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack a weight lifter or what?". The man simply replied, "I work for the IRS".

I like women how I like my hair dryer, locked in a closet most of the time, and only being used to blow me dry

Setting: Funeral Home

Customer: Yes I was considering what would be the best option for cheap cremation but I feel that's silly to ask.

Funeral Director: Oh! We do have these nice urns over hear at a discounted 75 percent off. Customer: Okay? What's the catch. That's almost 300 dollars off?

Funeral Director: I assure you these are top of the line urns and will keep your loved ones remains secure and dry. Customer: Okay?

Funeral Director: Yep these have only been used once so it's is absolutely worth the purchase.

By: MiniMemorials.com