Dry Jokes

I used to have a skeleton of jokes, now my supply is bone dry. Guess I wasn’t that femurous.

What goes in dry and comes out wet?

A dick.

What happens when you have dry elbows at work? You don't have any elbow grease to put into it.

What do lizards and Queen Elizabeth have in common?

They both live long with dry skin.

An emo kid sees his clothes hanging to dry, and he says to his clothes, "I wish I were you!"

If you could see me you would think she's crazy af

A dark-skinned man is holding a white hairdryer pointed upwards. Text above reads "WTF IS HE BLOW DRYING?" and below, "HIS THOUGHTS?"

Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.

My girlfriend told me her lips were dry, and she had the audacity to get mad at me for telling her to walk.

Did you get your phone from the desert? No wonder why your texts are always so dry.

As an older brother, I always gave my little sister advice. I always said to do your best and never quit. So one day I went to her room. I see my sister giving married men blow jobs.

I ask what are you doing? The married men said she is giving us blow jobs because our wives don't do it. My sister said you told me to do your best, and my best is to suck them dry. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder.

What's blue and bad for your teeth?

A green brick that's painted blue after the original paint dries (it takes a little while to dry), but after it dries you can paint it and then it will be green. If the brick is green it is called a green brick as it is green (not blue anymore) and it hurts your teeth because brick is a hard material that can damage the bones in your mouth (also known as your teeth).

What do you call the bear that pushes all the other bears into the pool?

The dry bear.

Bro, my friend told me all his humor is dead and dry, and I was like, "Just like 9/11 victims."

I'm bone dry in material, but I have a skeleTON of skeleton jokes. After I tell you all these rib ticklers, you will have a bone to pick with if you didn't find that funny, you outta rip my spine out.

Shorts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin. When it's sniff, stick it in. It goes in dry and comes out wet, And the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag.

It's not what you think it is. It's a Lipton tea bag.

Get your mind together!

What do you call a person in a wheelchair that lives in Africa?

Dry Vegetable.

A local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing bet of one thousand dollars that their bartender could squeeze a lemon dry until all the juice ran into a glass, and anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried but failed. Over time, weight lifters, lumberjacks, men in the Army, and etc. But still, nobody could do it.

One day, a scrawny little man came in wearing thick glasses and a cheap suit and said in a tiny squeaky voice, "I'd like to try the bet." After the laughter had died down, the bartender said, "okay," and he grabbed a lemon and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rhine to the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the one thousand dollars and asked the little man, "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight lifter, or what?" The man simply replied, "I work for the IRS."