Drive jokes
KSI driving ability.
Me: Have you seen a Mr. Weewoo?
Most people: No.
Me: He drives the ambulance downstairs.
You're so skinny that when you're driving, you have to put the seat forward to reach the pedals. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Friend: Why did you touch me?
Me: That guy in the corner with no hair, glasses, really nice, white button up shirt, that drives a white van slow by school zones told me to and he would give me hard candy.
You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.
Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.
You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"
This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"
Why can’t you take an Asian guy golfing? Because you can’t drive. Every time he does, he tries to put a hole-in-one.
What did the man who had sex with an Instagram model in the reverse cowgirl position while going 90 on the freeway get charged for?
Driving under the influencer.
Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy?
Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games!
How did Helen Keller drive?
One hand on the wheel, one hand on the road.
Why'd the alternate universe Spider-Man do so well on his driving test? He's an excellent parallel Parker.
It’s about drive, it’s about power, We stay hungry, we devour, Put in the work, put in hours, And take what’s ours.
Yeah, so why can't a blind woman drive?
Exactly, cuz she's a woman.
McDonald's has a drive through.
Twin Towers has a fly through.
Yo hairline go back so far you could drive 1,000,000 miles and still not find it.
What kind of truck does a Mexican drive?
F-Juan Fifty.
"September 11th plane driving classes for free."
1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!
Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains? How many have you derailed this year?
Me: Sorry, boss, it’s hard to keep track.
Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"