Friend: Why did you touch me? Me: That guy in the corner with no hair , glasses, really nice, white button up shirt, that drives a white van slow by school zones told me to and he would give me hard candy.
Why can’t you take an Asian guy golfing? Because you can’t drive Every time he does, he tries to put a hole-in-one
My best friend was Was recently gunned down in a drive-by shooting and died a virgin, but he wasn’t buried one
What did the man who had sex with an instagram model in the reverse cowgirl position while going 90 on the freeway get charged for?
Driving under the influencer.
You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends. Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot. You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate."
How did helen keller drive
One hand on the wheel one hand on the road
Yeah so why a blind woman can't drive ?
Exactly , cuz she's a woman
What kind of truck does a Mexican drive?
F- juan fifty
Yo hairline go back so far you could drive 1,000,000 miles and still not find it
September the 11th plane driving classes for free.
Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains, how many have you derailed this year
Me: Sorry boss, it’s hard to keep track
Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, 'Parking Fine'
When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker’s circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his driver (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.
“I have an idea, boss,” his driver said. “I’ve heard you give this speech so many times. I’ll bet I could give it for you.” Einstein laughed loudly and said, “Why not? Let’s do it!”
When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the driver's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The driver gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein’s speech and even answered a few questions expertly.
Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody’s fool. Without missing a beat, the driver fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, “Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my driver, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me.”
A Pedo is driving down a highway really slowly and gets stopped by the police. The officer asks why he was driving so slowly the man answers I dont wake up the kids.
A man walks into a bar, he gets a concussion.
After 2 months of recovering, the same man rushes head first into the bar. He goes into a coma.
After 2 years, he amazingly wakes up. He then gets in his car and drives into the bar at 70 mph. He dies. Did I mention he was suicidal?
A lion would never drive while drunk.
But a tiger wood
Kids make a lot of plans for people who can't drive anywhere.
There's a Mexican, Brazilian, and Cuban in a S60 who's driving?
Looking for true love. Must be into fun, likes to go out driving, playing the latest catching game and most importantly, must love kids. (PEADOPHILES MUST APPLY WITH HOW MANY KIDS YOU CAN CARRY)
Driving through the woods today I saw a boy with a bare behind.
