If Bruno Mars was to run a pub and sell chocolate bars other than alcoholic drinks, then he'd have to call his pub a Mars Bar!
What is a frog's favorite drink?
Croaka-cola!
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. The man orders a beer, one for him and one for the giraffe.
After they finish their drinks, the giraffe falls over, and the man gets his stuff and heads for the door.
The bartender says, "Stop! You can't leave that thing lying on the floor!"
The man says, "Mate, that's not a lion, it's a giraffe."
How does Moses make his coffee?
Hebrews it.
Why did Marx never drink Earl Grey?
Because proper tea is theft.
A priest, a rapist, a pedophile, and a homosexual walk into a bar.
He orders a drink.
Three Vulcans walk into a bar.
The bartender asks the first Vulcan, "Y'all want a drink?" The first Vulcan says, "I don't know."
The bartender asks the second Vulcan, "Y'all want a drink?" The second Vulcan says, "I don't know."
The bartender asks Spock, "Y'all want a drink?" Spock says, "Yes."
The barman says, "We don't serve time travelers in here."
A time traveler walks into a bar.
How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank his coffee before it was cool.
A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here."
9 out of 10 doctors recommend for children to drink water instead of soda. That 1 doctor lives in Flint, Michigan.
Chuck Norris orders his coffee black, without water.
A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"
The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."
What was Osama Bin Laden's favorite drink?
A Double Manhattan.
Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? Because she heard the drinks were on the house.
Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can't drink and derive.
What's a ghost's favorite drink?
Ghoul-aid!
The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar.
It was tense.
A hamburger walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry. We don't serve food here."
