Why did Marx never drink Earl Grey? Because proper tea is theft.
A priest, a rapist, a pedophile, and a homosexual walk into a bar.
He orders a drink.
3 Vulcans walk into a bar.
The bartender asks the first Vulcan, "Y'all want a drink?" The first Vulcan says, "I don't know."
The bartender asks the second Vulcan, "Y'all want a drink?" The second Vulcan says, "I don't know."
The bartender asks Spock, "Y'all want a drink?" Spock says, "Yes."
The barman says, "We don't serve time travelers in here."
A time traveler walks into a bar.
How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank his coffee before it was cool.
A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here."
9 out of 10 doctors recommend for children to drink water instead of soda. That 1 doctor lives in Flint, Michigan.
Chuck Norris orders his coffee black, without water.
A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"
The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."
What was Osama Bin Laden's favorite drink?
A Double Manhattan.
Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? Because she heard the drinks were on the house.
Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can't drink and derive.
What's a ghost's favorite drink?
Ghoul-aid!
The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar.
It was tense.
A hamburger walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry. We don't serve food here."
