Dont jokes
Why did Beyonce say "to the left to the left"?
Because women don't have rights.
What's the difference between eggs and you? Eggs get laid, you don't.
What makes a joke a dad joke?
I don't know. I don't even have one as an example.
What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just WAVED. Can you SEA what I did there? I'm SHORE you did. Why are you so SALTY? Don't be a BEACH.
You can laugh at how men are stupid. But remember their favorite thing.
It starts with "M" and ends with "arriage".
If you guessed "Marriage" you're stupid. It's miscarriage and don't forget it. The joke never gets old to him. Just like the baby.
What happened to my screen...
Kobe Bryant jokes just don't really fly well now.
A jumper cable walked into a bar. The bartender said, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"
When you're the only one nice to the quiet kid.
Kid: "I like you... don't go to school tomorrow."
What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well, beer nuts are 49 cents, but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer, you won’t understand it.)
If you don't like my suicidal jokes, sorry man, didn't know it cut that deep.
I don't need to go to the car dealership when I have a Geico scanner on my arm at all times. 😏
I don't like these Undertale jokes. They just don't make any sense.
Looks like depression got the best of me! Don’t worry, I’m already going under.
Q: You want to know why I don’t make jokes about 9/11?
A: They tend to crash and burn.
What's the difference between drugs and kids?
I don't sell drugs.
Don't let an extra chromosome get you down!
An old woman goes to the doctor complaining of extremely smelly gas.
"I don't understand it, Doc," she said, "I have this terrible, terrible gas." "Thankfully," she added, "they are at least silent when I fart."
Doctor hands her a bottle of pills, tells her take them all and then come back to see him.
The old woman returned a short time later extremely mad. "I took those pills like you said and not only is my gas smelly, but now when I fart they are obnoxiously loud!", she yelled.
The doctor said, "well, now that we've solved your hearing problem, let's see what we can do about that gas".
Famous last words:
"Don't worry man, it's not even loaded."
Don't mistake my silence for weakness. No one plans a murder out loud.
Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?
Because they don't have balls.