Dont jokes

What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just WAVED. Can you SEA what I did there? I'm SHORE you did. Why are you so SALTY? Don't be a BEACH.

Kobe Bryant jokes just don't really fly well now.

What makes a joke a dad joke?

I don't know. I don't even have one as an example.

Why did Beyonce say "to the left to the left"?

Because women don't have rights.

A jumper cable walked into a bar. The bartender said, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"

When you're the only one nice to the quiet kid.

Kid: "I like you... don't go to school tomorrow."

If you don't like my suicidal jokes, sorry man, didn't know it cut that deep.

I don't need to go to the car dealership when I have a Geico scanner on my arm at all times. 😏

I don't like these Undertale jokes. They just don't make any sense.

What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well, beer nuts are 49 cents, but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer, you won’t understand it.)

Looks like depression got the best of me! Don’t worry, I’m already going under.

What's the difference between drugs and kids?

I don't sell drugs.

Q: You want to know why I don’t make jokes about 9/11?

A: They tend to crash and burn.

You can laugh at how men are stupid. But remember their favorite thing.

It starts with "M" and ends with "arriage".

If you guessed "Marriage" you're stupid. It's miscarriage and don't forget it. The joke never gets old to him. Just like the baby.

Don't let an extra chromosome get you down!

An old woman goes to the doctor complaining of extremely smelly gas.

"I don't understand it, Doc," she said, "I have this terrible, terrible gas." "Thankfully," she added, "they are at least silent when I fart."

Doctor hands her a bottle of pills, tells her take them all and then come back to see him.

The old woman returned a short time later extremely mad. "I took those pills like you said and not only is my gas smelly, but now when I fart they are obnoxiously loud!", she yelled.

The doctor said, "well, now that we've solved your hearing problem, let's see what we can do about that gas".

Famous last words:

"Don't worry man, it's not even loaded."

Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?

Because they don't have balls.

I would roast you, but you don't have any meat!

New Teslas don't come with a new car smell; they come with an Elon Musk.