Dont jokes
A man (Ameenya Sheed) texts another man (Bob) and said,
"Hi, I'm Ameenya Sheed."
Bob: "You're not in my shed because I don't have one, but I have a garage. I don't think you're in there."
Cashier: "Will you want the milk in a bag today, sir?"
Customer: "I’ll just keep it in the carton if you don’t mind."
I have 25 friends in the alphabet.
But I don't know why.
What is the similarity between a joke and food?
Some people just don't get them!
What is the difference between a Rubik’s cube and a penis? I don’t know, but they both get harder the more you play with them.
Gary and Steve are having sex and the phone rings. Steve goes to answer the phone and tells Gary, "Hey, don't finish yourself until I get back." After returning from the other room, there is cum all over the bed and wall of the bedroom. "Jesus, Gary, I said not to finish yourself until I got back!" Gary turns to him and says, "I didn't, I farted."
Why can't two Chinese people have a white baby? Because "two wongs don't make a white."
So, I was fucking my daughter the other night, and I don't know what was funnier, the look on my wife's face, or the fact the abortion clinic let me keep her.
Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
Because they don't want to be mistaken as feminists.
When the phone is ringing, Dad says, "If it's for me, don't answer it."
Girls Are Yummy Stupid
Are Really Erectable
Tasty Honey Ejaculable
Booty Everything Sucking Titties
Gays don't be mad, read the first letter of every word :D
The sad thing is when they ride the scooters in Wal-Mart... Really, you declining to walk is what got your fat ass in that scooter to begin with... And damned if they aren't buying diet soda... Please... cull this shit... We don't need them in society... KFC is not a disease.
I'm not lazy, I'm just bone tired. I bet that one tickled your funny bone. It sure got me rattled. Don't try to stop me. I've got a skele-ton of these!
Please don't kill [me].
Two persons were in a car. The brakes were broken and they were going so fast that they would crash and die.
The driver said: "Oh no! We will die!" but the person sitting next to him replied: "Don't panic, the stop sign at the end of the road will stop us."
Why is 6 afraid of 7? Nothing, because numbers don’t have consciences.
According to all known laws of aviation, a bee should not be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground, but of course, bees fly anyway because bees don't care about what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, Black. Yellow, Black.
How long does it take for 5 babies to die in the microwave?
I don't know, I can't count while I masturbate...
So, I was fucking my daughter the other day and my wife walked in... I don't know what was funnier: the look on her face, or that the abortion clinic let me keep her.
I don't like condoms, but I like gay pregnant X.