Don't you find it ironic that Kobe Bryant bounced his helicopter off the ground like a basketball?
Dont Jokes
I was lying on the bed the other night and my missus was playing with my cock, trying to get it to go hard. She asked me what's the matter? I said, "I just don't find women without hair very attractive."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Bully: I bet your dick is so small when you look down you can't see it.
Guy: I don't, I see your mom.
Somebody shouts "Fire!"
Man 1: Get the children out!
Man 2: F*** the children!
Man 3: We don't have time!
Why are you sitting down to pee? I don't have a good back and can't lift something big.
What do you call a gay woman? I don't know.
You don't need a parachute to go skydiving. You only need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "Johnny, do you pray before you eat?" Little Johnny says, "I don't need to, my mum makes good food."
I don't struggle with self-harm, I do it everyday.
At least if you're fat you don't need to put as much bathwater in the bath.
Ashes to ashes, priests prefer boys, 'cause they don't have to shave their asses.
What's the difference between soccer and a dead baby?
I don't wear steel cap boots when I play soccer.
Teacher: "If you don't understand, ask your parents at home."
Orphan: "I don't have neither of those :c"
Q: Why does Pewdiepie prefer knives over guns?
A: Because knives don't have barrels.
So I had a friend who was an orphan, and he said, "How's your girlfriend?" I said, "I don't have one." He said, "I know, just reminding you." I then said, "Hey, how's your parents?" I never saw him after that.
Sister: I don't want to do it, but...
Me: No more butts! Butts are too yuck to be in this sentence.
What's the one thing that you don't have but celebrities do?
Lots of fans.
One of my students asks, "Can I have a bookmark?"
A year of school and they still don't know my name is Danny.
I have a friend who doesn't have a dad.
He says: "You're useless, go to hell!"
Me: "Wait, why do you want me to join your dad?"
