Kid: But, Mom, I don't want to go to the movies.
Mom: SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND CLEAN MY ROOM! YOU DON'T HAVE A CHOICE!
Dont Jokes
Anyone who says they don't like cats has never had one cooked right...
Why don't stags buy drugs? Because they are too deer.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
A pedo is driving down a highway really slowly and gets stopped by the police. The officer asks why he was driving so slowly. The man answers, "I don't wake up the kids."
What the difference between cats and dogs? They dont have one both taste good
Me: I fucked your mom.
Orphan: I don't have a mom so you fucked the air.
My life, get it, 'cause I don't got one.
I have no puns because I don't play soccer.
Fun fact: If you're an orphan, you probably don't know your parents.
Why do guys hold their ball sack when they run?
Because they don't have titties.
Don't touch my bot.
My mom said that I don't listen to homophones, but then I said, "No, I listen to headphones."
Puerto Rican teen: I'm a waste, a failure, NUNCA LO PODRA ASER (I'll never be able to do it).
The mother: AI NINO (OH CHILD).
The teen: QUE? (WHAT?)
The mother: NO TE PONGA CON ESTA MIELDA OTRAVES! (DON'T START WITH THIS SHIT AGAIN!)
The teen: I CAN'T DO SHIT RIGHT MAMA!
The mother: OOOHHH YEAH WELL TU SI PUEDES ABLAR MIELDA DE TI, I BOTAR BASURA! (YOU SURE CAN TALK CRAP ABOUT YOURSELF AND THROW OUT THE TRASH.)
The teen: QUAL (WHICH).
The mother: MADRE DE DIOS (MOTHER OF GOD).
The teen: AVIA UNA NEGRA I OTRA BLANKA (THERE WAS A BLACK ONE AND WHITE ONE).
*A phone buzzes.*
The teen: Whose phone is that, ma?
Unknown: MR. PRESIDENT IF YOU TAKE AWAY THE CONFEDERATE FLAG HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHO THE BAD WHITE PEOPLE ARE?
*Runs to bag, opens white one and sticks hand in.*
The teen: HAIR GEL
Don't adopt people, or else your parents are gonna say you're ACTUALLY adopted, k thx. No jokes anymore, bye.
Don't you hate it when you sit on your balls? It's a real nutcracker!
"Hippity hoppity, don't abolish my property!"
What's the difference between a PC and a 6 year old? I don't have to clean out my PC.
What's the difference between a Black person and a white person?
Black people don't shoot up schools.
Don't scare me! I poop easily!
