Dont jokes
I don't understand why, when I went to the shooting range today, the police came. Like, bro, I always go to elementary schools.
What do you call a gay woman? I don't know.
You don't need a parachute to go skydiving. You only need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "Johnny, do you pray before you eat?" Little Johnny says, "I don't need to, my mum makes good food."
Like my daddy? Too bad you don't have one.
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
Little Steven was scared to take a shower by himself, so he asked his mum to shower with him. She said ok just don’t look up. He looked up and said wow what are those. She said they are headlights. He looked under and stuck his finger in it and said oh what is that. She said that’s a Pu-pu-pu Bush!!
The next day Steven’s mom wasn’t home so he asked his Papa can I shower with you? He said ok just don’t look up. Well Steven looked up and said WTH IS THAT? His dad said it’s a Snake. That night he asked his parents if he can sleep with them. They said ok Just don’t look under the covers. He grew bored then looked under and Screamed mom turn on the headlights There’s a snake in the bush.
I don't struggle with self-harm, I do it everyday.
What's the difference between a grape, an apple, and an arm? You don't slice a grape.
I constantly wonder how people can live happily ever after, but then I realized that antidepressants don't make you OD.
"Ugly kid, I feel ugly."
"Me? You don't have feel ugly, you already ugly."
Why can’t orphans eat at a family restaurant? Because they don’t have a mom or dad.
At least if you're fat you don't need to put as much bathwater in the bath.
Stupid Mary Jane was swinging on the swing.
Her momma said, "Stupid Mary Jane, don't swing so high, the boys will see your underwear!"
Stupid Mary Jane laughed and laughed. She knew she wasn't wearing no underwear.
My balls when I see Tazzaro: boioioioioioing.
Why don’t orphans play baseball? Cause they don’t know where home is!
Why don’t orphans play baseball? Cause they don’t know where home is!
Why don’t orphans play baseball? Cause they don’t know where home is!
Why don’t orphans play baseball? Cause they don’t know where home is!
Ashes to ashes, priests prefer boys, 'cause they don't have to shave their asses.
Girl: What is abortion?
Man: Ask your brother.
Girl: But I don't have a brother!
Man: Exactly!
Don't be sad if you miss a shot when you yell "Kobe." He didn't make it either.
Her: I love Kobe Bryant!
Me: Helicopter Helicopter
Her:.....
Me: At least you don't say save the trees, cus damn Kobe is good.