Dont

Dont jokes

Ashes to ashes, priests prefer boys, 'cause they don't have to shave their asses.

Girl: What is abortion?

Man: Ask your brother.

Girl: But I don't have a brother!

Man: Exactly!

Her: I love Kobe Bryant!

Me: Helicopter Helicopter

Her:.....

Me: At least you don't say save the trees, cus damn Kobe is good.

My mom said, "Don't jump off, we need you."

I said, "No," then I jumped off a building and died.

People have houses, but I don't have a house because I don't have parents, said the orphan.

Man: I'm here for the job interview.

Employer: Oh good, good. Sit down. We don't get many people for the interviews.

Man: Just anywhere?

Employer: Yeah, make yourself comfortable. Jackson, right?

Man: Yeah, that's me.

(Shakes hands and sits back down)

Employer: So what makes you eligible for the job, Jackson?

Man: Well, I'm really good at capturing the perfect shot and angle. It really takes dedication to do this type of job. Concentration and willpower, sir.

Employer: I like you already, you're hired!

Man: Wow, thanks, sir. I know I won't do you wrong. I'll work hard for this job!

Employer: You start now! Your first person is a man named John F Kennedy.

Man: What? You want me to just take pictures of him during the parade?

Employer: No.

Man: This... This is a photography job, right?

Employer: No... this is a job employment for man hunting.

What do orphans and sperm donor kids have in common? They don't have dads.

If I don't find a reason to live soon, my ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's gonna be hanging from my ceiling.

So, unfortunately, I got kicked out of the library again because, for some reason, they say that books on women's rights don't go in the fantasy section.

Why in Alabama people don't use doggy style... Cuz you don't turn your back to your family.