Dont jokes

My mom said, "Don't jump off, we need you."

I said, "No," then I jumped off a building and died.

"Don't worry! Life goes on."

"Yeah, that's what's had me worried."

People have houses, but I don't have a house because I don't have parents, said the orphan.

Man: I'm here for the job interview.

Employer: Oh good, good. Sit down. We don't get many people for the interviews.

Man: Just anywhere?

Employer: Yeah, make yourself comfortable. Jackson, right?

Man: Yeah, that's me.

(Shakes hands and sits back down)

Employer: So what makes you eligible for the job, Jackson?

Man: Well, I'm really good at capturing the perfect shot and angle. It really takes dedication to do this type of job. Concentration and willpower, sir.

Employer: I like you already, you're hired!

Man: Wow, thanks, sir. I know I won't do you wrong. I'll work hard for this job!

Employer: You start now! Your first person is a man named John F Kennedy.

Man: What? You want me to just take pictures of him during the parade?

Employer: No.

Man: This... This is a photography job, right?

Employer: No... this is a job employment for man hunting.

Why do orphans live on the street?

They don't have parents to put a roof over their head.

Why is Lucas so weird? I don't know, you tell me.

What do orphans and sperm donor kids have in common? They don't have dads.

If I don't find a reason to live soon, my ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's gonna be hanging from my ceiling.

Why don't orphans watch TV?

Because of "Family Guy."

Me: What’s the definition of “ignorance”?

Friend: Don’t know?

Me: U STUPID!

So, unfortunately, I got kicked out of the library again because, for some reason, they say that books on women's rights don't go in the fantasy section.

Why in Alabama people don't use doggy style... Cuz you don't turn your back to your family.

I don't give two shits about how evil these are. They're funny.

Roses are red, violets are blue, all these orphan jokes have ruined this site. Fuck you!

Why don't orphans rob the bank?

Because they're not wanted.

Why can't two Chinese make a white baby?

Because two Wongs don't make a white.

What's the difference between soccer and a dead baby?

I don't wear steel cap boots when I play soccer.

Hey guys! Ello here with an update!

I know I haven't been doing a lot of jokes lately, so I will make sure to do that, but I have something to say! I am going to Disneyland today!! So here is the plan. Today we are going to leave around 2 and go to Downtown Disney for dinner and check into our hotel and stuff like that. Then we are going to wake up bright and early tomorrow and go to Disneyland and stay 'til midnight, and then on Monday we are going to California Adventure! I am missing school on Monday! I'm so excited! And don't worry, I will make sure to tell you guys all about it when we get back. Love y'all!

Teacher: "If you don't understand, ask your parents at home."

Orphan: "I don't have neither of those :c"

So, there's Fred and Frank. Now, they've been friends for years, but Fred, see, he's depressed. Badly.

Either way, so F+F are texting each other, and here's how it goes: (this is my first joke, so please don't judge too harshly)

Frank: Yo

Fred: Hi...

Frank: U heard about de competition?

Fred: Yeah...

Frank: You wanna hang out?

Fred: .......

Frank: What? I've got some noose (news) for you.

Fred: ...I(

Frank: Fine.... I guess we need to think of a plan, though. We don't wanna be hanging on the end.

Fred: *sigh* You know....you really can't rope me into this competition.