Don't worry jokes

I told someone some jokes, y'know? "Fruit Ninja," "barcode legs," "French puppet thigh wrings." And she was like saying that's not cool and stuff. So she reported me, and it was like:

The counselor: "So I've heard you've been making sh jokes?" Me: "You say it like it's a bad thing." Her: "It is." Me: "Chill bro, it ain't that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)"

Don't worry, the forehead jokes were recommended just like your hairline.

🗣: "Stop making suicide jokes!"

"Don't worry bro, I'll end it soon."

My friends were worried that I was making suicide jokes so much, so I said, "Don't worry, you won't have to hear them much longer."

An orphan boy at my school did really bad in a test and started crying.

I said, “Don’t worry, your parents won’t say anything.”

I asked my dad, "Are we there yet?" and he told me, "Don't worry, son, it will be a short ride!"

When someone said to an orphan, "My boyfriend ghosted me," the orphan says back, "Don't worry, my parents ghosted me!" 🤣

Patient: Sorry I'm so nervous, this is my first surgery.

Doctor: Oh, don't worry, mine too!

I'm gonna jump to my death.

Don't worry. I won't jump far.

Just off this chair here...

Roses are red, violets are blue, A face like yours belongs in a zoo. Don't worry, I'll be there with you, But not in the cage, but laughing at you.

A boy couldn't walk normally because his pants were huge, and when he went to school, the people there made so many jokes about him that he died.

IT'S NOT TRUE, JUST A FAKE JOKE, DON'T WORRY!

My wife said she would slam my head into my keyboard if I did not get off video games.

But don't worry I think she was just joking.

Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with you parents soon." He said, "My parents died." I said, "I know...." I went for the cliffs.

Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.

I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.

I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"

"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.

"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" I asked.

"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on hunting equipment?" I asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't gone hunting in 20 years!"

"Well," I said, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."

The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?"

I replied, "Don't worry about that. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting."

A plane is going to crash. There are four passengers and only three parachutes. All the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first. He says, "My fans need me," and jumps. Donald Trump takes another and says, "I am the smartest president," and jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says, "Child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute." The boy replies, "Don't worry - Donald took my backpack."

If you have an Autistic child, don't worry. Put your trust in God and pray it gets kidnapped.

If your parachute doesn't work, don't worry.

You have the rest of your life to figure it out.

So.. err actually, don’t worry. I was gonna make a joke about dead babies, but I had to abort.

Guy: Are you depression? 'Cause you're crippling me.

Car driver: No, I'm the guy that hit you with his car and crippled you.

Guy: Don't worry, I was already crippled because I got crippling depression.