Dog jokes
So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog.
When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.
Who is more loyal: a dog or a wife?
Well, lock them both in your trunk for two hours and drive around and see which one is happy to see you.
Watch this dog https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gM8gBVjVTaQ
What’s the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?
One wags its tail, and the other tags a whale!
I should name my dog Ariana Grande.
That way I could say that I fucked Ariana Grande.
So you know there's like dog mixes, right? Like a Snoodle and that stuff, right? So why can't a bulldog and a shih tzu be mixed? 'Cause if they did, it would be called bullshit.
What will Sarah Thompson (Ninja Steel Pink) do if she meets the ToQgers (Train Super Sentai)?
They will TRAIN together.
Why is it so hard to tame a dog?
Because it's unTRAINable!
My dog went through my bathroom garbage, and for some reason, my sister put a bunch of ketchup packets in there...
What is a pup's favorite pizza?
Pupperoni
OK, guys, quick update, what is going on with Freshfry, Drew, and Alya?
All they're doing is fighting, and I want to put an end to it. So Freshfry, Drew, and Alya all need to read this, OK. First, Freshfry, you should've just said OK the first thing he said, and Drew... really? You had to keep egging him on. I don't know about Alya, but it's like cats and dogs fighting. Just please stop fighting :(
I went to the zoo but all I saw was a dog.
Yeah, it was a shih tzu.
Me, smashes mouse after losing a match; everybody at the pet race: :O
Why do dogs lick their balls? Because they can.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
Because he was trying to catch a boomerang.
Brendon, just shut up, no one was talking to you on the fucking joke! And my sis is not a female dog. If she was, then how the hell would she spell!
I have two things I wanna say:
1. When people swear, stop taking it so fucking literally. If someone calls you a bitch, they're not calling you a female dog. If they call you a cunt, they're not calling you a woman's private part, they are calling you either an idiot, scaredy cat/baby, or something along those lines, ffs.
2. wtf
What do you give a dog with a fever?
Mustard, it's the best thing for a hot dog!
What is the best way to keep dogs out of the street?
Put them in a barking lot!
Why is the dog having KFC? Because the dog has no friends.
What's the similarity between dogs and poor people?
They both eat from trash.