Doesnt jokes
Just 'cause I’m gay doesn’t mean I want you. I’m shocked anyone would.
I hate when my father doesn't cook me cocktails for tea.
When the people that see you cry, that doesn't mean they miss you. That mean they scared of your onion breath! 🐑💨
Just letting you know if people cry when they see you, that doesn't mean they miss you. That means they're scared of your onion breath.
Have you heard about the guy whose friends teased him because he pays for sex? He doesn't pay anymore.
(Bus Driver) What did you learn in school today?
(Kid) We learned that you are a sussy baka.
(Bus Driver) Oh yeah? Well, I quit!
(Kid) Quit what?
(Bus Driver) Living.
(Kid) But it was a joke!
(Bus Driver) Doesn't matter. I will die, but you will still be alive.
(Kid) Ok.
(Bus Driver) That was a joke, too!
Why doesn't a Muslim girl like her dad and namaz?
Because she has to get on her knees.
Two people are in a restaurant. Person #1 doesn’t order anything, and Person #2 orders a chili.
Person #1: “Aren’t you gonna eat your bowl of chili?”
Person #2: “No, you can have it.”
Person #1: “Ok, thanks...”
Person 1 starts eating his food only to find half of a dead rat! He vomits all of the food back into the bowl.
Person #2: “That’s about as far as I got too!”
Why did Yoda go to jail for rape?
He doesn't get consent; he just uses the force.
In Africa, it doesn't matter if you're gay, straight, or bisexual.
At the end of the day, it's night.
Why don't a gun and an orphan have anything in common? The gun is actually useful.
Why doesn't the police arrest orphans? Because they aren't wanted.
Your hairline is so long that sometimes even the president doesn't know where it ends.
Why can't an orphan be friends with Dom Toretto?
Dom doesn't have friends; he has "family."
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
He doesn't have a home to go to.
Little boy asked his dad why he was born black.
Father replied, "So the heat from the sun doesn't burn your skin."
Then he asks, "Why is our hair all frizzy like fuse wire?"
"So the coconuts when falling from the trees won't hurt you."
"Then what are we doing living in Rochdale? (England)"
As a son, I was starting to do pranks. I told my mom’s boyfriend that she cheated on him and she doesn’t want to be with him anymore, and I told him that my mom said that he had a small penis. He left my mom, and she was mad at me. I thought it was funny.
Then I told my friend’s girlfriend that he cheated on her with another girl, and the girl told me that my friend had a small penis. He found out and wanted to confront me in my house. I wasn’t home. My friend told my mom what happened. Then my mom said the same thing happened to me. I came home one day, I saw my mom giving my friend a blow job. I asked what’s going on. My friend told me, "Your mom is my new girlfriend," and my mom said, "This is the penis of my dreams."
What Stephen Hawking doesn't know about wheelchairs isn't worth knowing.
Stephen Hawking doesn't go for a stroll. He goes for a roll.
What does E.T. stand for? Because he has little legs.
What does S.H. stand for? He doesn't.
What does S.H. stand for? Shit happens.