Doesnt jokes
A guy went back to his apartment. Five minutes later, he said to the receptionist, "It doesn't fit!" So she gave him a new key.
Why is LeBron James an orphan?
Because he doesn't use WhatsApp.
A teacher asked a class who killed Goliath. The first pupil said he wasn’t the one. The second said he doesn’t know. No one knew in the class.
The teacher got furious and dashed to the Head Master’s office to report. Immediately, the head master followed him back to the class with a cane. He growled- “If no one tells me who killed Goliath in this class, you will see fire!” Everyone in the class insisted on the fact that it wasn’t them.
Then the Head master looked at the teacher and said- “Mr. Dapo, are you sure that the person who killed Goliath is in this class?” The teacher fainted.
Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.
The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"
Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."
The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"
Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."
Errrrrrrrrr my spine doesn't work.
Eeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
What weighs 70 pounds and doesn't like sex?
The 6-year-old in the trunk of my car.
"I'm sorry, Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."
Just 'cause I’m gay doesn’t mean I want you. I’m shocked anyone would.
I hate when my father doesn't cook me cocktails for tea.
When the people that see you cry, that doesn't mean they miss you. That mean they scared of your onion breath! 🐑💨
Just letting you know if people cry when they see you, that doesn't mean they miss you. That means they're scared of your onion breath.
Have you heard about the guy whose friends teased him because he pays for sex? He doesn't pay anymore.
(Bus Driver) What did you learn in school today?
(Kid) We learned that you are a sussy baka.
(Bus Driver) Oh yeah? Well, I quit!
(Kid) Quit what?
(Bus Driver) Living.
(Kid) But it was a joke!
(Bus Driver) Doesn't matter. I will die, but you will still be alive.
(Kid) Ok.
(Bus Driver) That was a joke, too!
Why doesn't a Muslim girl like her dad and namaz?
Because she has to get on her knees.
Two people are in a restaurant. Person #1 doesn’t order anything, and Person #2 orders a chili.
Person #1: “Aren’t you gonna eat your bowl of chili?”
Person #2: “No, you can have it.”
Person #1: “Ok, thanks...”
Person 1 starts eating his food only to find half of a dead rat! He vomits all of the food back into the bowl.
Person #2: “That’s about as far as I got too!”
Why did Yoda go to jail for rape?
He doesn't get consent; he just uses the force.
In Africa, it doesn't matter if you're gay, straight, or bisexual.
At the end of the day, it's night.
Why don't a gun and an orphan have anything in common? The gun is actually useful.
Why doesn't the police arrest orphans? Because they aren't wanted.
Your hairline is so long that sometimes even the president doesn't know where it ends.