DOE jokes
What do the Twin Towers and my ad's condom both have in common?
They both broke and everybody cried.
What do the Titanic and the Montréal Canadiens have in common? They both sank to the bottom of the Atlantic.
What does a cow say? Moo.
What movie does an orphan hate?
- No Way Home.
What does the handicapped man say to the cops when he’s mistaken for a criminal: "Don't shoot, I'm unarmed!"
Everybody does this
What commitment does a pimp make to each new hoe he turns out?
Answer: He will always be there for her after the break-in period.
What show does an orphan hate? Family Feud.
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
Don't be stupid, feminists can't change anything.
What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?
They're both hanging from a tree.
Why does a Mexican want to learn math?
To study perimeter.
If having sex for money makes you a wh*re, then what does having sex for free make you?
Non-profit wh*reganisation.
How does Hellen Keller meet men?
She goes on blind dates.
How many white police officers does it take to push an African-American gentleman down the stairs?
Push?! He fell...
What does an orphan call a family photo?
A wishlist.
How many LGBT supporters does it take to change a lightbulb?
The lightbulb is fine the way it is. Society just needs to change the way it looks at it.
What does Drake call his rake?
Da-Rake.
Why does the sky think it's so powerful?
Because it's always looking down on us.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, that's a hardware problem.
Jimmy does stand up comedy. He says, "What do you call an orangutan?"
Jake replies, "YOU!" Then everyone, including the teacher, laughs. Jimmy cries.
LOL
Why does Hitler wear glasses? Because he can Nazi without them.