DOE jokes
Jimmy does stand up comedy. He says, "What do you call an orangutan?"
Jake replies, "YOU!" Then everyone, including the teacher, laughs. Jimmy cries.
LOL
Why does Hitler wear glasses? Because he can Nazi without them.
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
Why does Michael Jackson do positions with kids in photos? Because they won’t do the same for him.
Does Lightning McQueen get life insurance or car insurance?
Memes
What does a lesbian and a sea turtle have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer?
A: None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.
What do you call a large lamp that does illicit things to young children?
A Jacko Lantern!
How many times does Ariana Grande knock at the door?
She doesn’t, she just uses 7 rings.
What does an orphan call a family picture?
A selfie.
How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
Out of a catalogue. 😁
Why does a milking stool have 3 legs?
Because the cow has the udder one.
What does Drake call his rake?
Da-Rake.
What does a transgender call his/her parent?
Transparent.
Your mama is so short, she does backflips under her bed.
Why does the sky think it's so powerful?
Because it's always looking down on us.
How many LGBT supporters does it take to change a lightbulb?
The lightbulb is fine the way it is. Society just needs to change the way it looks at it.
What does a lesbian have in common with a mechanic? Snap-on tools.
A man and a cow are stuck on train tracks, and there is a train in the distance about to hit both of them. A vegan sees this and tries to help. Who does he save, the man or the cow?
Neither. He isn't strong enough to lift either of them.
What car does Hitler drive?
A Fuhrerri.