DOE jokes
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
Don't be stupid, feminists can't change anything.
What commitment does a pimp make to each new hoe he turns out?
Answer: He will always be there for her after the break-in period.
Why does Santa come down the chimney? Because he knows he isn't allowed to come in the back door.
What does Michael Jackson like to eat? Little wieners.
What do the Titanic and the Montréal Canadiens have in common? They both sank to the bottom of the Atlantic.
Why does Waldo wear stripes?
'Cause he doesn't want to be spotted.
What does a Rubik's cube and a man's penis have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Does Eminem like M\&M's? Cause if he didn't, that would be like "they're" not liking "there."
What do the Twin Towers and my ad's condom both have in common?
They both broke and everybody cried.
How many LGBT supporters does it take to change a lightbulb?
The lightbulb is fine the way it is. Society just needs to change the way it looks at it.
How many white police officers does it take to push an African-American gentleman down the stairs?
Push?! He fell...
Jimmy does stand up comedy. He says, "What do you call an orangutan?"
Jake replies, "YOU!" Then everyone, including the teacher, laughs. Jimmy cries.
LOL
Why does Hitler wear glasses? Because he can Nazi without them.
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
How many times does Ariana Grande knock at the door?
She doesn’t, she just uses 7 rings.
What does an orphan call a family picture?
A selfie.
How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
Out of a catalogue. 😁
Does Lightning McQueen get life insurance or car insurance?
Why does Michael Jackson do positions with kids in photos? Because they won’t do the same for him.
What do you call a large lamp that does illicit things to young children?
A Jacko Lantern!