DOE jokes
What does a stray cat/dog have in common?
Both of them don't have a home!
How does the Eskimo make a house of cards?
Igloos it.
Please folks, you can hit the thumbs up button on the ones you like. There is no need to repost.
Anyways,
Knock knock Who's there? Can I come in? Can I come in who? Can I Come In You!?
More often than not, I will cry when I masturbate. Some nights I'm a real tear jerker!
But on the nights and I smoke a lil pot and then masturbate, my dad ends up bugging me because I am a weed wacker.
How do you keep a dog from humping your leg? Pick him up and suck his dick.
How does Popeye keep his manly part from rusting? He sticks it in Olive Oil.
Snow White and the seven dwarfs are in the the tub feeling "HAPPY". Happy got out now they are fucking "GRUMPY".
What's worse than waking up and finding a "Penis" drawn on your forehead? Finding out it was "Traced".
If I had a rooster and you had a donkey and your donkey ate my rooster what would you have? 3 feet of my cock up your ass.
Did you know Batman was actually Black? Yeah he couldn't go a night with out Robyn!
Did you hear Gods Word Of The Day? Its Legs! Now lets go out and spread them.
What do you call a Mexican woman with no legs? Cunt-sway-low
Whats worse than sucking 25 oysters out of your Grandmas Pussy? Realizing you only put in 15.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Depends on how high your ceiling is.
How does an apple fall from a tree?
I don't know, ask Sir Isaac Newton!
A mom and her two children were eating at a place while playing trivia when she asked what does AIDS stand for? Her son Dallyn has no idea, but her daughter Emberlee, who has always been a little odd, says, "An Intentional Disease." Her brother and mom just stared!
What is it called if your mom does not make it to your birth?...
An abortion.
Little Johnny fucked a girl, ran away, fucked another, ran, went to the strip club, got a private dance, he has sex with them, fucking ran, yelled to some random bitch ass guy, "Fuck him, he's a bitch." He bends down, they have sex on the street, they go home, have sex, little Johnny wakes up, questions himself, fucking does it again. He goes to the strip club, fucks some more people, when he is drunk, questions himself some more, then tries phone sex, but his dick is too small.
Why does the pimp always use job fairs as a way of recruiting new hoes?
He always gets a great turnout.
What do you call an owl that does magic?
Hooodini.
W-what does, I mean uh, what is, um-, wh-what’s the difference, no... I mean- I mean what do you call a, um... sorry guys, i-i can’t do this. 😥🥺
*runs away in tears*
What does e equal?
I don’t know, a bunch of random numbers, but e=mc2.
Does this sentence make any sense?
What does the cell ride to work?
A vesicle.
What does lmao launching missiles at orphanage mean?
I don't know, but it's messed up.
Q: What gun does Africa not have?
A: A water gun.
What does Amogus and Jesus have in common?
They're sus.
What does an Emo kid and Ted Bundy have in common?
They're both gay and use knives.
The Egyptian god of sun's name is Ka.
My friend: Where does the sun god go to get a shoe?
Me: In a Ka-boot sale :D
Friend: What would happen when someone stole the shoe?
Me: Call The Police Ka!!!