DOE jokes

Sex

Little Johnny fucked a girl, ran away, fucked another, ran, went to the strip club, got a private dance, he has sex with them, fucking ran, yelled to some random bitch ass guy, "Fuck him, he's a bitch." He bends down, they have sex on the street, they go home, have sex, little Johnny wakes up, questions himself, fucking does it again. He goes to the strip club, fucks some more people, when he is drunk, questions himself some more, then tries phone sex, but his dick is too small.

Pimp

Why does the pimp always use job fairs as a way of recruiting new hoes?

He always gets a great turnout.

Emo kid

What does an Emo kid and Ted Bundy have in common?

They're both gay and use knives.

God

The Egyptian god of sun's name is Ka.

My friend: Where does the sun god go to get a shoe?

Me: In a Ka-boot sale :D

Friend: What would happen when someone stole the shoe?

Me: Call The Police Ka!!!

Orphanage

What does lmao launching missiles at orphanage mean?

I don't know, but it's messed up.

Devil

So the Devil decided to go to McDonald's and grab some lunch. What does he get?

A hot and spicy McChicken and three six-piece nuggets.

Prince

Dear prince,

Gwen is dating Aiden! I can tell by the emojis! She does not like you or the way you talk to her, not one bit!

P.S. She is and will always be dating Aiden! Leave a comment.

Plunger

A fact! I think I'm officially a poo-buster, as the plunger does look like the weapon in "Ghostbusters"!

Difference

W-what does, I mean uh, what is, um-, wh-what’s the difference, no... I mean- I mean what do you call a, um... sorry guys, i-i can’t do this. 😥🥺

*runs away in tears*

Number

What does e equal?

I don’t know, a bunch of random numbers, but e=mc2.

Football

Why does Barry Bannan laugh when he plays football?

Because the grass tickles his balls because he's so short.