DOE jokes
What does Stephen Hawking have for food?
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Knock knock Who's there? Can I come in? Can I come in who? Can I Come In You!?
More often than not, I will cry when I masturbate. Some nights I'm a real tear jerker!
But on the nights and I smoke a lil pot and then masturbate, my dad ends up bugging me because I am a weed wacker.
How do you keep a dog from humping your leg? Pick him up and suck his dick.
How does Popeye keep his manly part from rusting? He sticks it in Olive Oil.
Snow White and the seven dwarfs are in the the tub feeling "HAPPY". Happy got out now they are fucking "GRUMPY".
What's worse than waking up and finding a "Penis" drawn on your forehead? Finding out it was "Traced".
If I had a rooster and you had a donkey and your donkey ate my rooster what would you have? 3 feet of my cock up your ass.
Did you know Batman was actually Black? Yeah he couldn't go a night with out Robyn!
Did you hear Gods Word Of The Day? Its Legs! Now lets go out and spread them.
What do you call a Mexican woman with no legs? Cunt-sway-low
Whats worse than sucking 25 oysters out of your Grandmas Pussy? Realizing you only put in 15.
Why does air not come down? I think gravity didn't like the Facebook page of air.
Why does sour cream have an expiration date?
The Chinese food owner always brings us free food. I ask my sister why he does that. My sister said, "Love him long time."
One Tuesday afternoon, Little Jonny decides he wants extra homework, so he went to his teacher and said, "Hello, can I have extra homework this week?"
The teacher replied with, "Sure, be at my house Friday afternoon to cut my lawn, polish the counters, scrub the baseboards, scrub and paint the walls!"
And Johnny replied with, "That's not what I meant, but at least I'll get paid!"
The teacher said, "How about $200 each job?"
Johnny replied with, "OK."
Friday afternoon at her house, after Johnny does all the jobs, he asked for his payment and the teacher laughed and said, "You do know that Tuesday was April Fools' Day, right?"
What does a kid who has autism and reading have in common?
Absolutely nothing.
How many babies does it take to paint a barn red? Depends on how hard you throw them.
How does Helen Keller smell?
Pretty bad, she's dead!
Why does the Sun go to school?
Why do animals cross the road?
Because it is funny, do you say "dogs" and "cats?"
Why does Peter Pan always fly?
'Cause he Neverlands.
Why does an orphan cry when we say "ur mom?"
Because they have no mom.
Why do orphans become bullies?
Because their mum and dad were never there for them.
Why does an orphan go to church?
So they can call someone "father."
Eibar-Man! Eibar-Man! Does whatever a ghost can.
Scores a tapin With Xaviesta’s assistance. Misses a pen From close distance.
Lookout! Here comes the Eibar-man!
What does NASA stand for? Nobody Asked, Someone Answered.
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A Kinder Joy.
What does a waiter in a Chinese restaurant call a customer that won't leave a tip? A "plick."
What type of candy does the most magic?
Twix!