DOE jokes
What are a doctor's and a WWE fighter's ideas on child abuse?
Doctor's: Don't do it, it does not help. Mood behavior.
WWE fighters: If it can crawl, it can brawl.
How does a computer spell "Autocorrect"?
What does Stephen Hawking and a prostitute have in common?
They both charge.
Why does Little Johnny hate hot dogs?
It reminds him of last night.
What does a man masturbating and a mayo bottle have in common?
They can both squirt out their cum.
Teacher: What does the pig's skin do?
Student: It keeps pig skin together! 😂
I made a website for orphans.
It does not have a home page.
Why does Batman only wear black?
Because he's emo!
Why does Aaron have no friends? Because his spine is weird and he is fat.
Why does the military pick orphans as fighter pilots?
Because homing missiles don't work on them.
What does the dead man say to the other? He says, "Your daughter is pretty."
The other man says, "How do you know?"
The other man says, "Because she is dead."
How many gangsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
35! Do you have a problem with that?
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw 'em.
What does a Russian do for entertainment?
A nuclear world fair.
How does Stephen Hawking have sex?
Enter, backspace. Enter, backspace.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
Pork chop!
What does a rain cloud wear under her dress?
Thunderwear.
What does a 911 call receiver say when they get a call?
"9 Juan Juan, who this?"
A rich man and a poor man are talking about anniversaries. The rich man got his wife a Mercedes and a diamond ring. He says if the wife does not like the ring, she can take the Mercedes and leave.
The poor man said he got his wife slippers and a dildo. He says if his wife does not like the slippers, she can go and fuck herself.
How many retards does it take to change a lightbulb? None! They are still too busy trying to turn off the dark.
Click...uh Click..........,.UH!!
Confucius say, never try win head-butting contest with mongoloid: you’ll lose every time and only hurt yourself.
(mono gloid? mong a’ loid squeals)
Did you hear the one about the dog raised by retards?
All he’d do is go “Uh-f, uh-f....Ooohhhh!”