DOE jokes
When does it rain money?
When there's a change in the weather.
What actor does an orphan hate?
Vin Diesel.
Why does Batman cover half of his face? To let the police know that he's white.
What starts with M and ends with carriage?
This joke never gets old, but then again neither does the baby.
What does 9 and 36 add up to?
A life in prison.
What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?
Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.
This text does not contain a joke.
My dog has no nose.
How does he smell?
Terrible!
Why does no one sit next to a cheetah during school? Because they're a big cheetah.
What kind of air does Ariana breathe?
Helium?
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop!
Why does Sans say "I got a bone to pick with you?"
Because he needs to pick your balls.
What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
They're both turned on by kids.
What does a cow use in school? A cowculator.
What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common?
Once they're gone, they never come back.
Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
A Russian, a Brit, and a terrorist are in an air balloon.
First, the Russian says, "I dare to throw a stone down!" So he does that, but the others don't seem to be impressed. So the Brit says, "I dare to throw a brick down!" So again he does that, the Russian is impressed, but the terrorist laughs and says, "I dare to throw a bomb down!" So he does that and everybody can't believe what they have just seen. So a bit further, they land, and a shocked and afraid little boy comes running up to them. So they ask what happened, on which the little boy said, "I farted and my school exploded."
Why does shit come out your asshole? Cause fuck you, that's why.
Why does the queen move more than a king on the chessboard?
Because it looks like a kitchen floor.
How many fingers does the Dragonborn have? Four fingers and a Thu'um.