DOE jokes
When I masturbate, things cum.
When an old man does, no one cums.
Why does God hate me?
Because I'm a gay minority who fights for women's rights.
What does your mother look like after I had sex with her eight times? An octopus.
An alien walks into a bar. There is a guy sitting next to him, and the alien touches his shoulder.
The man says, "Do that one more time and I'll run you over." The alien does it again and gets ran over. They get back in the bar and he touches him again. The man says, "Do that again and I'll chop your dick off." He touches him again. The man pulls the alien's pants down and pulls out his knife. He was astonished at what he found. There was nothing there! He looks up at the alien and looks at his finger and fainted.
What does a Hufflepuff wolf say? “I will huffle and puff, and blow your house down!”
That is related to Harry Potter 🧙🏼♂️.
Why does Donald Trump smell like dog shit? Cuz he's a dawg!
Dumb kid: What does homework mean?
Teacher: J0K35? (J0K35 is me btw) can you explain to DK what homework means, please?
Me:
"Half Of My Existence Wasted On Random Knowledge"
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
What's the first thing that a battered woman does when she gets out of the shelter?
My last if she knows what's good for her.
What do Asian people eat?
Rice.
Neona: Gwen! I got the job!!!!!!!!!
Gwen: I knew it! I knew my prayer worked!
Neona: He said that all my ideas are the best and that I start on Monday!
Gwen: Man, don't you love Mr. Jaekson? He is the best person the company has ever had!
Neona: Who is Mr. Jaekson?
Gwen: Wait... Mr. Jaekson didn't interview you?
Neona: No! Mr. Smith did. He said he was standing.
Gwen: No, Mr. Smith, you are a fool who never lets you spread the word or do anything. I can also mention that he is a person who has sexual problems!
Neona: Gwen, you are a liar!
Gwen: No, I'm not. I'm telling the truth, Neona!
Neona: Gwen, please be happy that I got the job without you lying that Mr. Smith sexual assaults women!!!
Gwen: He does, you're not listening.
Neona: I don't care, BITCH!!!!
What does dark humor and a child with cancer have in common?
That I will never get old.
What does "A" say to "ss"?
"We are the perfect couple. We make Ass."
Q: What gun does Africa not have?
A: Water gun.
Technoblade: It is high vitamin B.
Quackiity: What does vitamin B stand for?
Technoblade: Broke.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.
Why does Africa have no pharmacies? Because you can't have medicine on an empty stomach.
Why does a cheetah always lose on a test? Because he is a cheater!
Why does the army take orphans as fighter jet pilots?
Because homing missiles don’t work on them.
What does General Grievous say after he gets his penis growth pills?
A fine addition to my erection.