DOE jokes
What does the cent say when it says hello? It waves.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
Pork chop!
What does a dog do in a dresser?
It pants!
What part of a computer system does an orphan not have?
A motherboard.
What does the dead man say to the other? He says, "Your daughter is pretty."
The other man says, "How do you know?"
The other man says, "Because she is dead."
Why does every emo kid try to be like Tarzan? So they can swing on the vine.
What does Michael Jackson like to drink? Tea-he-he.
How can you tell if a Polish woman is on the rag? One of her socks is missing!
What danger does this put them in? Toxic Sock Syndrome!
How does Daveon like his coffee? Decaf-eon.
How many kids does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them. 😂😂😂😂
What does a lesbian call the other during sex?
Mummy.
Q: Why does Helen Keller masturbate with only one hand?
A: She moans with the other.
How many belly rolls does Explain Bear have?
They say you should love your neighbor. Does that mean I have to love the president?
A robot walks into a bar and orders a martini.
The bartender is flabbergasted that a robot can do that.
"New around here?" said the bartender.
"Nah, been here a while," said the robot.
Bartender "You can talk?"
Robot "Yeah, pretty cool, huh."
Bartender "Why do you want a martini?"
Robot "Oh, I'm just in the mood for one, you know?"
The bartender is shocked to see a robot making completely normal small talk.
The robot seems to be just like a normal human.
"Wow, who programmed you?" asked the bartender.
"The top minds in the world," said the robot.
The robot speaks again, "I have a question for you..."
Bartender, "What?"
"Why did you read this entire story? It does not have a punchline. I just wasted your time. Get bamboozled, nerd!"
Why does Tesco like midgets?
Every little helps.
What pronouns does Michael Jackson use? Hee/hee.
Student: Why does everyone hate me?
Another student: Because U got the A last night.
Comedian: If you’re racist and you know it, clap your hands.
Guy 1 & Guy 2: 👏👏
Comedian: WTF bros!
Comedian: And one of you is black and one is white. How does that work?
What does a physicist call it when a suicidal person is high up? Potential energy.