DOE jokes
My girlfriend was born on February 29th, so does that mean she is 2 years old?
What does a frozen loading screen and a Make-A-Wish kid have in common?
They both couldn't make it all the way.
Why does an orphan hate apples? Because they get picked on more.
What does a sad cowboy and a supernatural fan have in common?
Both want to put a Winchester in their mouth.
What are a doctor's and a WWE fighter's ideas on child abuse?
Doctor's: Don't do it, it does not help. Mood behavior.
WWE fighters: If it can crawl, it can brawl.
Why does the military pick orphans as fighter pilots?
Because homing missiles don't work on them.
How does a computer spell "Autocorrect"?
What does a baby computer call his father?
Data!
What kind of car does Yoda drive?
A Toyoda.
What does a Russian do for entertainment?
A nuclear world fair.
What does the dead man say to the other? He says, "Your daughter is pretty."
The other man says, "How do you know?"
The other man says, "Because she is dead."
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw 'em.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
Pork chop!
How does Stephen Hawking have sex?
Enter, backspace. Enter, backspace.
What does a rain cloud wear under her dress?
Thunderwear.
Teacher: What does the pig's skin do?
Student: It keeps pig skin together! 😂
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how many you throw.
What does a 911 call receiver say when they get a call?
"9 Juan Juan, who this?"
How many hookers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Must be more than 9 because my basement is still dark.
What do we call a skeleton who has a ton of travels?
A skele-TON!