DOE jokes
When a lady gets married, what does she borrow?
She borrows her husband's last name.
What does a cow sound like when in a horror house?
Moo mooo moooooooo (screaming)!
Why does air not come down? I think gravity didn't like the Facebook page of air.
Why does sour cream have an expiration date?
The Chinese food owner always brings us free food. I ask my sister why he does that. My sister said, "Love him long time."
One Tuesday afternoon, Little Jonny decides he wants extra homework, so he went to his teacher and said, "Hello, can I have extra homework this week?"
The teacher replied with, "Sure, be at my house Friday afternoon to cut my lawn, polish the counters, scrub the baseboards, scrub and paint the walls!"
And Johnny replied with, "That's not what I meant, but at least I'll get paid!"
The teacher said, "How about $200 each job?"
Johnny replied with, "OK."
Friday afternoon at her house, after Johnny does all the jobs, he asked for his payment and the teacher laughed and said, "You do know that Tuesday was April Fools' Day, right?"
How many babies does it take to paint a barn red? Depends on how hard you throw them.
What does a kid who has autism and reading have in common?
Absolutely nothing.
How does Helen Keller smell?
Pretty bad, she's dead!
Why does the Sun go to school?
If a prostitute is celebrating her birthday, does she get a hoecake?
Why do people eat bananas? Because it's a-peeling!
What does the donkey say to the other donkey?:
Nothing, donkeys don't talk.
Why do animals cross the road?
Because it is funny, do you say "dogs" and "cats?"
How does a rapper make a burrito?
With WRAPPING paper, DUUUHHHHHH!
How does a rapper start his day?
With a MIC check!
Do you remember what Bruce Willis' last movies were?
Neither does he.
"Does this make any cents?" a man says.
"Oh, it does make cents," me. <-- thing: Lemin"aid" <-- another joke.
What does NASA stand for? Nobody Asked, Someone Answered.
What does CNN stand for? The Counterfeit News Network.