DOE jokes
How does a rapper apologize?
With a rap-ology!
How does a rapper clean their house?
With a BEAT BRUSH!
This is two heads.
Deaf. "Deep water." ""
- "78 years."
Are you interested again? ""
"If you go ... you are there."
"No. 85 is good."
What is the most important value? It does not take cheese.
What does the EPA issue when a person stinks up a room with their smelly farts?
Air quality alert code brown!
How many East Asians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Tu.
What do the initials "MAD" stand for?
Mothers Against Democrats.
What does “JETS” stand for?
Jihadis Eradicating The Skyscrapers.
Why can’t Germans call a taxi? *does taxi calling motion*
If a gay male is married to a well-endowed, physically challenged gay male that has been sleeping in bed for three hours nonstop, and he wants him to wake up so he can fix him his morning breakfast, how does he wake him up?
Wake up sleeping Jesus by giving him a blowjob.
My boyfriend always likes when I wear my fishnet sleeves. He says it looks great on me, but he doesn’t know that my skin is covered with scars... no one does. No one questions why I wear them everyday. I hope it stays like that because I can’t deal with my mom finding out that I still hurt myself.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
What kind of experience does a feminazi have for being a feminist?
Being a bitch.
What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? “If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts.”
When a redhead commits a mass shooting, does the headline read, "Ginger snaps"?
What does a stuttering Santa call Mrs. Claus?
A hoe hoe hoe.
Why does everyone say there are mines in Bosnia? There are no-
What does a sponge do?
It talks to Patrick.
What does Stephen Hawking press after he's had a hard day?
F5
If you're cleaning a vacuum cleaner, does that make you the vacuum cleaner?
When Stephen Hawking falls, who does he call, the ambulance or the technician?