DOE jokes
How many East Asians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Tu.
How does a woman scare their gynecologist?
By becoming a ventriloquist.
How does a rapper keep their money safe?
In a RAP VAULT.
How does a rapper like their coffee?
With a little bit of FLOW CREAMER.
How does a rapper clean their house?
With a BEAT BRUSH!
Memes
What does Michael Joseph Jackson say to adults when he sees them?
Keep away from me-hee-hee.
What do the initials "MAD" stand for?
Mothers Against Democrats.
What does “JETS” stand for?
Jihadis Eradicating The Skyscrapers.
What does the long distance call and a Black person have in common?
They both don’t work.
What does your mom say when she is working?
Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.
What does Leo have in common with a newspaper?
They both love to yap and babble, and they always get fondled by old people.
Why does the president take so long to deliver each sentence?
He’s just Biden his time.
How does a rapper apologize?
With a rap-ology!
Why can’t Germans call a taxi? *does taxi calling motion*
If a gay male is married to a well-endowed, physically challenged gay male that has been sleeping in bed for three hours nonstop, and he wants him to wake up so he can fix him his morning breakfast, how does he wake him up?
Wake up sleeping Jesus by giving him a blowjob.
My boyfriend always likes when I wear my fishnet sleeves. He says it looks great on me, but he doesn’t know that my skin is covered with scars... no one does. No one questions why I wear them everyday. I hope it stays like that because I can’t deal with my mom finding out that I still hurt myself.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
A buddy and I checked out some books from a local library. When we returned them, he said, "Your sister works the returns, right?" I told him, "Yes, she does, and she will be here in about five minutes." He said, "Why don’t we put a cookbook in the women’s sports section?" I told him, "I love it!" So I picked out a Reese Witherspoon book.
What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say when you leave?
"Thanks for coming. Hope you come again soon."
What does a furry call a sexy furry?
A foxy lady!