DOE jokes
What did the fat guy say to the skinny guy?
Fat guy: Does this look fat on me?
Skinny guy: No, I don’t think it’s that.
Fat guy: Thinking.
What song does an orphan hate?...
"I'm so lonely."
Q. What kind of school does an ice cream man go to?
A. Sunday school!
Psst! Don't understand? Well, "Sunday" sounds like "Sundae." Get it now? Nope? Sorry. Plus, it's an ice cream homophone joke.
So, I was in school, and there was a number saying "696969," so I said to my mother, "What does it mean?" She said, "Your fucking dad and I!"
What were the orphan's mom and dad's names? John and Jane Doe.
What does a baby computer call its father? Data.
What does the beet DJ say when he's partying?
"Dance to the beet, y'all!"
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Why does everyone like couch jokes?
Because they are sofa-nny (so funny)!
Q: What does a cat have that no other animal has?
A: Kittens.
Teacher: *Reads mythological story about a cyclops*
Me: Does he have one eye cause he's from an incestual family in Alabama?
How does a skeleton kill a bug?
They SOCKET!
What does a bird say when it gets sick?
I flu!
What vehicle does a frog 🐸 drive?
The Beetle!
Where does Stephen Hawking go when he breaks his arm? PC World.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends how hard you throw them.
What does a doctor do to make you better?
Helium.
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb?
To get to the other side.
How many emos does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they just sit and cry in the dark.
How many emos does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None, because they just cry in the darkness.