DOE jokes
My boyfriend always likes when I wear my fishnet sleeves. He says it looks great on me, but he doesn’t know that my skin is covered with scars... no one does. No one questions why I wear them everyday. I hope it stays like that because I can’t deal with my mom finding out that I still hurt myself.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
When a redhead commits a mass shooting, does the headline read, "Ginger snaps"?
What does a sponge do?
It talks to Patrick.
What does Stephen Hawking press after he's had a hard day?
F5
If you're cleaning a vacuum cleaner, does that make you the vacuum cleaner?
When Stephen Hawking falls, who does he call, the ambulance or the technician?
Why does Mao Zedong like the east coast?
Because there is a red Sun in the sky.
Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?
Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.
Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!
Stacy: lol
How does the non binary kill white en Amy?
They/them.
What does it mean when there is a man in your bed, gasping for breath and saying your name?
It just means that you didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
What does a terrorist do when they see a twin?
They fly a plane at them.
When does a dyslexic person know when they've spelt their address wrong?
When it fails to turn up.
Your hairline is so far back that when your teacher puts you in the front of the class, your hairline is quite in the back.
What does Mammot like on a woman’s body?
Bum bum bummmm buuummmmm bummm.
How fast does 173 move?
Breakneck speeds!
What does a squirrel eat? Deez Nutz in their mouth.
What's the difference between Rorochan and skydivers?
One does it for the cash, the other for the views.
Nah, I'm Hawaiian but I'm also Japanese. So does that mean I bombed my own harbor?
What do math and me on P-hub have in common?
They are both hard.