How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? -- One. They are efficient and don't have humor.
DOE Jokes
What does a turtle and a pedophile have in common? They both want to get there before the hare does.
How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously not 8, because it's still dark in my basement.
What does Bill say to Hillary after sex? -- "Honey, I'll be home in 20 minutes."
Why does Bill Clinton wear boxers? -- To keep his ankles warm.
"What does the word 'gay' mean?" asked a son of his father.
"It means 'happy'," replied the father.
"Oh," contested the son, "so you are gay then?"
"No, son, I have a wife."
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? -- Meals on wheels.
When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he's pushing the Earth down.
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles.
Doctor: "Does your penis burn after intercourse?"
Patient: "I don't know. I never tried lighting it."
How many Microsoft programmers does it take to change a light bulb? - None, they declare darkness to be the new standard.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, that's a hardware problem.
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
To get to the other side!
How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
It's some weird number. You probably never heard of it.
How much does a hipster weigh? An Instagram.
What does the cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
How does a prostitute make more than a drug dealer?
Because she can clean her crack and sell it again.
Why does a giraffe need such a long neck?
Because its head is so far away from its body.
How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
More than three because the basement is still dark!
What does the B in Benoît B. Mandelbrot stand for?
Benoît B. Mandelbrot.
