Why does Trump always ensure he has a second pair of pants with him every weekend?
In case he gets a hole in one.
DOE Jokes
What does a shark and a computer have in common?
They both have megabytes.
What does a carpenter do after a one night stand?
The second nightstand.
Why does Jesus never vacation on Earth?
Because he traveled down about 2,000 years ago, got with some Jewish chick, and they're still talking about it!
What sound does a 747 make when it bounces?
Boeing boeing boeing.
How does a mathematician get tan?
sin/cos.
How does a cow become invisible? -- Through camooflage.
How does a fish always know how much they weigh? -- Because they have their own scales.
What does one math book say to the other? -- "Don't bother me. I've got my own problems!"
How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears?
A buccaneer.
How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? -- Just Juan.
How does NASA organize a party? -- They planet.
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? -- Because the cow has the udder.
How does Moses prepare his tea? -- Hebrews it.
How many ears does Captain Picard have?
Three: A left ear, a right ear, and a final front-ear.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.
Why does the blonde stand in a corner when she's cold?
Because it's 90 degrees.
What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand? -- He nuts and bolts.
What does a girl want more than anything in the world?
Nothing. She's fine.
If a woman sleeps with 10 men she's a slut, but if a man does it... He's gay, definitely gay.
