DOE jokes
One day Little Johnny’s class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?” Little Mary says, “The teacher is very intelligent.” The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?” Little Suzie says, “They are very fashionable.” The teacher says, “Johnny, why don’t you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence.” Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy, ‘Darling, how does my dick taste?’”
One day Little Johnny's class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?" Little Mary says, "The teacher is very intelligent." The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?" Little Suzie says, "They are very fashionable." The teacher says, "Johnny, why don't you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence." Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy 'Darling how does my dictate'"
How does a blonde turn the light off after sex?
She closes the car door.
What does Sonic say when he doesn't want to get caught fucking in public?
Gotta Go Fast!
Why does a chicken cross the road?
To poop and pee in the potty!
What does a glass of water ask a pond?
"Water you doing?"
What does the pond answer?
"Pondering life."
Why does Adam sleep early so his mum and stepdad can fuck on his bed?
Why does Adam go hockey, you might ask?
In my opinion, he shouldn't go because he is bad, but he needs the armor to protect himself from his own step-dad.
Why does Adam buy airsoft guns, you might ask?
To defend himself against his own father... his life must be shit.
What does Adam look like?
The fat ginger baby of Boss Baby.
Why does Aaron cry at night? His alcoholic father beats him.
Why does Aaron always look depressed? Because his grandma's dead.
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? Nine.
My son is so ungrateful. I bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.
How do you suck a dick?
Stick it down your throat like Nicholas does with Dennis.
What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common?
An expiration date.
What does the donkey say to the other donkey?:
Nothing, donkeys don't talk.
How many babies does it take to change a lightbulb?
More than 9 because my basement's still dark.
Where does Stephen Hawking get his computer fixed?
At PC World.
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One of them turned to the other and said, "Does this taste funny to you?"