DOE jokes
What kind of woman does Bill Cosby like the most?
The “cold and passed out” kind.
How many hookers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, cause they'll screw anything.
What does Jonathan Davis eat for breakfast?
Korn Flakes.
So, I was fucking this bitch, right, and I thought I had AIDS.
So I go and get tested. Turns out I did get AIDS. Now what I'm wondering is where the hell does an eight-year-old get AIDS?! I guess my sister needs new friends...
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
How many babies does it take to paint a barn red? Depends on how hard you throw them.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
Depends how hard you can throw them.
What does a sponge do?
It talks to Patrick.
How can you light up a candle in a ship which does not contain any instrument and you are alone with just a packet of candles?
Answer: Just throw one candle in the sea; the boat will become lighter.
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it!
How does a butcher keep his tent up in the wind? Steaks.
What do a "transgender" woman's favorite song and his/her last online order have in common?
~they're both a dick in a box.
Why does Mexico not have a good athletics team? Because anyone who can run or jump is already over the wall.
What does DNA stand for?
National Dyslexic Association.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them, with fuck.
Hey! Some idiot drew a cat on this pillar! Wait... does that make it a caterpillar?
What bathroom does a trumpet go to?
The brass room...
What does a pirate say to his girlfriend?
I want your booty!
One day Little Johnny’s class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?” Little Mary says, “The teacher is very intelligent.” The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?” Little Suzie says, “They are very fashionable.” The teacher says, “Johnny, why don’t you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence.” Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy, ‘Darling, how does my dick taste?’”