DOE jokes
What does a glass of water ask a pond?
"Water you doing?"
What does the pond answer?
"Pondering life."
Why does Adam sleep early so his mum and stepdad can fuck on his bed?
Why does Adam go hockey, you might ask?
In my opinion, he shouldn't go because he is bad, but he needs the armor to protect himself from his own step-dad.
Why does Adam buy airsoft guns, you might ask?
To defend himself against his own father... his life must be shit.
What does Adam look like?
The fat ginger baby of Boss Baby.
Why does Aaron cry at night? His alcoholic father beats him.
Why does Aaron always look depressed? Because his grandma's dead.
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? Nine.
My son is so ungrateful. I bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.
How do you suck a dick?
Stick it down your throat like Nicholas does with Dennis.
What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common?
An expiration date.
What does the donkey say to the other donkey?:
Nothing, donkeys don't talk.
How many babies does it take to change a lightbulb?
More than 9 because my basement's still dark.
Where does Stephen Hawking get his computer fixed?
At PC World.
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One of them turned to the other and said, "Does this taste funny to you?"
Why does Peter Pan always fly? Because he Neverlands.
Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable (A), beautiful (B), cute (C), delightful (D), elegant (E), fashionable (F), gorgeous (G), and hot (H)."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"
How many beaten children does it take to change a light bulb for a drunken father?
Apparently not enough to impress him.
What does Vin Diesel eat for dinner?
Survival Guilt.
What does dark humor and a child with cancer have in common?
That it will never get old.