DOE jokes
How many babies does it take to paint a barn?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
How many police officers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just beat the room for it being black.
What does a girl get after having sex with Batman?
Defective rabies.
What does a bullied kid say during a game of Kahoot?
"I'd like to Kahoot up this school."
My wife and I have reached the decision that we do not want children.
If anyone does, please comment your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What does a bullet and milk have in common? They both take out your dad.
How many black people does it take to start a protest? -1.
A man was asked by his 21 years old daughter, "Dad, how do you give a blowjob to a man that has a big dick?"
Her father replied, "Honey, you should have watched me last night. It was inside my mouth. Does it cycle now?"
Bully: "You are so stupid!"
Classmate: does nothing.
Bully: "Oi, I'm talking to you!"
Classmate: "Oh, you're talking to me? I thought you were talking to yourself."
How many kids does it take to change a light bulb? Well, it's not 53, 'cause my basement's still dark.
How does a paedophile know if he's good at sex?
It'll forever be a mystery because the victims [are] too young to scream his name.
A fact! I think I'm officially a poo-buster, as the plunger does look like the weapon in "Ghostbusters"!
Why does Royal Cola have more royalty than a queen?
Answer: It tastes better.
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
What does a car have when it's very itchy?
A road rash.
What does BLM stand for?
Bisexual Lives Matter.
What does BLM stand for?
Bisexual Lives Matter.
How many kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
Apparently not 27. Because my basement's still dark...
How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but how they got in there's the real mystery!
(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes.)
What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
I was going to tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort.
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead.
Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They’re painful to look at.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.