DOE jokes
What does a crooked lawyer who is not on the ACLU payroll have in common with a crooked politician who has an office in Washington, DC?
They both sign their names using a blue pen 🖊 🖊.
If it does more than pee, it's too old for me!
Why does everyone get offended at female firefighters?
Like seriously, if your house is on fire and burning, you wouldn't really care if the person saving you had a low IQ, right?
Why does the Queen have more mobility than the King in chess?
Because it's shaped like the kitchen floor.
How many belly rolls does Explain Bear have?
How many children does Explain Bear have?
This is two heads.
Deaf. "Deep water." ""
- "78 years."
Are you interested again? ""
"If you go ... you are there."
"No. 85 is good."
What is the most important value? It does not take cheese.
How many East Asians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Tu.
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Trick question, feminists don't change anything.
What does the + sign stand for in LGBTQ+?
It’s the premium version of gay.
What does the EPA issue when a person stinks up a room with their smelly farts?
Air quality alert code brown!
What does “JETS” stand for?
Jihadis Eradicating The Skyscrapers.
What does a ginger do when they want to high five a friend? They clap.
How many police officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two: one to change the lightbulb, and the other to open fire while the room is dark.
How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, one to light up the room with space lasers so the other can see, and one to screw it in.
What does a Jew expecting guests say?
"Oy, vey, are they here yet?"
What does a Jewish man say when he sees a caricature of his face?
"We need to circumcise that one."
If a deaf kid swears in sign language, does his mom wash his hands with soap?
How many gay guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just one... But it takes the entire emergency room to take it out.
What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?
"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"