How can you tell an anti vaccine kid
It's only got 10 hours to live
I wanted to get brain surgery. I changed my mind.
*The doctor asking why Ive broken 19 bones in the past week*
*My abusive mum- Go on, tell him!*
well what am i gonna do now...
My doctor told me it was perfectly normal to become aroused or even ejaculate during a prostate exam. That being said I wish he hadn't!
Today I went to the doctor for a test and he said I have 10 months to live. So later that day I stabbed him to death & the judge sentenced me for 15 years in prison. Problem solved
What did the grandma say at the hospital when you pulled the tube?...................
I wish the doctor would prescribe me some medicine that's actually useful like cyanide
The doctor told me I had aids I said it's your fault sister.
A lady sees a doctor about a tummy ache. After her check up, the Doctor said “ Looks like you’ll be needing nappies in about 9 months time.” The lady asks, “Am I pregnant? “. To which the Doctor replied “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”
My doctor called me a "psychopath". HOW DARE HE!?! HE'LL PAY FOR THIS!
I walked in to the doctors surgery and and he said to me "pick a star sign any star sign" "I said Capricorn" He said "Nahh you got cancer"
Today, I operated on a little girl, she needed O- negative blood. We didn’t have any, but her twin sister has O- negative blood. I explained to her that it was a matter of life and death. She sat quietly for a moment, and then said goodbye to her parents. I didn’t think anything of it until after we took her blood and she asked, “so when will I die”? she thought she was going to give her life for her sister. Thankfully they both died.
What’s the difference between a doctor and a pedophile?
The doctor doesn’t enjoy giving physicals
By the way, this joke is easily found on Google, this was not created by me, I just have not seen it in these fat jokes so I thought I'd say it.
Doctor: I diagnoss you with obesitiy. Patient: It runs in the family. Doctor: Nothing can run in your family.
What did the doctor say to the chinese patient? Sum ting wong
What another name for an Abortion?
Canceling your delivery.
Man: Doctor where are you taking me Doctor: to the morgue Man: but I’m not dead yet Doctor: are we there yet
Man with cancer: How much time do I have left? Doctor: Ten. Man: Weeks? Months? Days? Doctor Nine, eight, seven...
What did the bird to the hospital for? For tweetment!
A guy with aids went into the doctors room unusually happy. You could even say he was.... HIV positive.
