Disease jokes
What's the difference between cancer and a Nazi? Cancer doesn't discriminate.
Sometimes I just want to toss a flash bang into a room full of epileptic kids.
I told my mother I'm a sexy cunt. She said, "No, you got cancer, you twat."
My mother said I'm sexy. I said no, I have cancer.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and cancer?
A prostitute can beat my dick any day, but a prostitute can’t beat cancer.
What was the winning play at the leper football game?
A hand off up the middle.
This disabled kid walked up to me, so I asked what disease he had. He said, "Lima." So I said, "Come again?" And he said, "Lima nuts." And I asked if that was a fruit, and he said, "No, I'm a vegetable."
What's the most expensive haircut in the world?
Chemotherapy.
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer. My letter read, "It's a bumpy road but soon you will have a straight path." People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.
Dark humor is like a boy with cancer.
They never get old.
What does dark humor and a child with cancer have in common? They never get old.
What do you call a malignant cell in Paris?
A Royale with cancer.
How would you best describe prostate cancer?
Well, it is somewhere between a dick and an asshole!
What did the cancer cell say to its neighbor?
"Mind if I join you?"
Q: Why was the leper hockey game cancelled?
A: There was a face off in the corner.
What does a kid with cancer and a house fly have in common?
A life expectancy of 15-25 days.
Cancer jokes really grow on you--unlike the patients' hair.
What's the difference between a plane and a woman?
At least the plane doesn't give you herpes when it crashes at your place.
Q: What's the difference between me and cancer?
A: My dad didn't beat cancer...
Hot shingles in your neighborhood wanting to get nailed.