Disease jokes
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
Deja Vu.
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What do you say to Stephen Hawking when he dies?
"Rust in pieces!"
I almost had a joke about Parkinson's disease, but I was too shaken up to say it.
How do you get gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
Yes, Stephen Hawking is alive.
YEET!
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer.
My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path." People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer. My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path." People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.
A player in Baldi's Basics says, "Why are you bald?"
Baldi responds, "Well, I have cancer."
The player says, "Oh, good for you!"
Stage 4 cancer is like a woman. You can’t beat it, but if you do, she’ll probably come back again.
Stephen is lucky he doesn’t need a vibrator.
He’s got himself.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite drug?
Battery acid.
Why did the girl not eat her dinner?
because she has an eating disorder.
Why did Grampa pass out? Because of diabetes.
What do you do when you get rid of prostate cancer?
Cell-ablate!
What's the difference between cancer and a Nazi? Cancer doesn't discriminate.
Sometimes I just want to toss a flash bang into a room full of epileptic kids.
I told my mother I'm a sexy cunt. She said, "No, you got cancer, you twat."
My mother said I'm sexy. I said no, I have cancer.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and cancer?
A prostitute can beat my dick any day, but a prostitute can’t beat cancer.
What was the winning play at the leper football game?
A hand off up the middle.
This disabled kid walked up to me, so I asked what disease he had. He said, "Lima." So I said, "Come again?" And he said, "Lima nuts." And I asked if that was a fruit, and he said, "No, I'm a vegetable."