A short person should never piss off a fat person taller than them. The fat person just has to lean slightly, and it's 9/11 all over again.
A white dad, a priest, and a rabbi all run out a burning school, and the dad says, “What about the kids?” and the rabbi replies to him saying, “Fuck the kids,” and the priest says, “Think we got enough time?”
Before: Caring & Noble
After: Chernobyl
Want to watch Titanic?
No, I'm not on board for it.
What is common in my AirPods and the Titanic?
They sync properly.
You wanna know why the Titanic was split in half? The iceberg hit it from the front and back.
What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center?
Two large planes!
Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Alabama burned down?
Almost took out the whole trailer park.
What did the chef on the titanic scream as he tried to finish the dishes- "oh no the sink sank!"
How do you think the unthinkable? With an iceberg.
What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? About half way.
the titanic was in a pickle when they saw the iceberg
Did you hear about the flood at the circus? Lots of people drowned, and there were two clowns that survived and two nuns still in the audience.
The two clowns ran over to the two nuns, and each one put a nun on his shoulder. Then they waded out of the big top, up to their waists in the rapid, turbulent water. As they were reaching dry land, one clown said to the other, "If you ask me, this is virgin on the ridiculous!"
Did you hear about the Boston marathon? 'Cause, well, I heard it was a blast and that it blew everyone away!
Titanic - "Yo, look at that sexy babe of an iceberg, let's hit her!"
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in 7 seconds. In case you didn't see that one coming, don't feel bad, they didn't either.
FEMA during a natural disaster is kinda like me during sex. Slow to respond and not a lot of satisfying results.
Why were the people in the Twin Towers sad?
They ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
What is worse than 16 babies in 16 dumpsters? One baby in 16 dumpsters.
It was September 10, 2001 when I stayed up watching TV shows. I woke up late to work at The World Trade Center. But it was burning. I said out loud, " I was late! I'm happy I was late to work! I mean.. I could've di-" I was then beaten and bruised by the emergency services.
