Disabled jokes
Why did the disabled chicken cross the road?
To get its wheelchair!
How do they execute paraplegics?
With the electric wheelchair.
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Slap it on the arse and tell it to keep going!
Bean.
Sans
This is American politics that is not true.
Hey guys, Billy has this weird disability where when he has sex with someone, he says their name really loud.
Billy: Hey guys, I just got back from my DADS!!
Wait, what Billy?
A slag is like the first piece of bread in a loaf. Everyone touches it, but nobody wants it.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair. But I knew she’d come crawling back to me.
Why did people bully Steven Hawking?
Because he couldn't stand up for himself.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs laying in a pile of leaves?
Russell
Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.
Your mam is gay.
I asked this disabled kid what his favorite TV show is. He looked at me blankly and said "My favorite TV show is Vegetales."
This disabled kid walked up to me, so I asked what disease he had. He said, "Lima." So I said, "Come again?" And he said, "Lima nuts." And I asked if that was a fruit, and he said, "No, I'm a vegetable."
A boy with Down Syndrome was talking with his mom.
“Mom, why did God make me like this?” he said.
“It’s because God made you special,” she said.
“Just kidding, I was only talking about your needs.”
Why did the kid who was blind, in jail, need light to see? He didn't, he needed to braille his way out.
I know a girl in a wheelchair. I realize now why she couldn’t do sports because the coaches wanted 100% from her, but she was only able to give 50%.
Why did the disabled kid keep getting bullied?
He couldn’t stand up for himself.
My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are up!