Disabled jokes
Where can you find some of the world's largest vegetables? -- In an American nursing home.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? -- The wheelchair.
What do you call a walkie-talkie for retards? -- A stumblie-mumblie.
If a midget with down syndrome shows up late for work, is it okay to say she's a little tardy?
I can't stand being in a wheelchair.
I just found out I'm colorblind. It came out of the yellow.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.
I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It's very rewarding, but quite challenging.
Took me ages to get her husband's voice right.
To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket... You can hide, but you can't run.
In my spare time I help blind children. -- I mean the verb, not the adjective.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? -- Meals on wheels.
What is black and sits at the top of the stairs? -- Steven Hawking after a house fire.
What do you call disabled people in a hot tub? -- Vegetable soup.
How do you get chewing gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
What's simultaneously up and down?
A retard on a plane.
How do you tell if a loaf of bread has Down Syndrome?
It has an extra crumb-osome.
What do you call someone with Down Syndrome who smokes weed?
A baked potato.
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
To get to the other side!
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?
I don't know. He hasn't opened it yet.