Disabled jokes

Why was Stephen Hawking's wife mad at him?

She caught him having an affair with his shoulder.

How do you make a hormone?

Don't pay her.

I am disabled and I find these jokes appropriately hilarious.

Hot women with big boobs work at Hooters, but where does a handicap woman work?

IHOP.

You know what’s impossible?

Steven Walking.

I bought my spoiled brother a trampoline for his birthday, but he decided to sit in his wheelchair like a little bitch.

Ur mum smells like shit, yeah, so she sucks a man off and washing machine. Yo, don’t at me, yeah, you chicken breath.

I played piano at a Worthmore disabled elderly center. Then after I was done, I said, "How about you give me a standing ovation?"

I regret it to this day. Now I am forced to live here at Worthmore, and sit on my wheelchair, sad and lonely.

I just wanted to say...

These disabled jokes are quite offensive. I'm not disabled in any way, but people reading might be affected in many ways. Yes, some of them are amusing, but there's a difference between having a joke and being plain rude.

Please take my feedback into account. Thanks!

What do you call a person with no arms?

Armless.

Me walking in to the office:

Principal: Tell me, what did you do?

Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...

Balls.

If the dyslexic man wanted to adopt a kid, then how could he sign the papers?

When fat people smash, it must feel like a huge submarine hitting you.

My question is, how do fat people fit in tuxedos? Honestly, don’t wear those. Wear your regular clothes. Your belly is just gonna pop out!

Yo life.

Sub to KYMBO or you are gay.

My disabled dad went to the grocery store.

He got lost and yet they couldn’t find him.

Finally, he was found after a kid told them he was in the vegetable aisle.

What is Riley Brown's favorite game? Tipping over people in wheelchairs.

What do [you] call Tyler Brown?

A spaz.